There’s usually a time in our lives when we feel like we need to be someone else and live our lives for the sake of others. We’re conditioned to conform and play by ‘the rules’ and if we step off the carefully lined path, we’re often misunderstood. We can feel ashamed and looked at fearfully as if we’re upsetting the fragile balance of societal norms. The rules made by others that are slowly consuming us and making us feel complacent and increasingly unhappy. As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that life is incredibly complex and beautiful, but if we play it safe and live our lives for others, we will never find the magic that comes when we remove our overprotective egos and see life for what it truly is in the present.
When we live in the light that comes from rising above our petty and ego-centric desires we can rise to our full potential. We can live the happy and fulfilling lives that we’ve always dreamed of, but never been able to realize when we allow ego to dominate our consciousness.
Who do I want to be is a question I’ve often asked myself? It’s a question that can be hard for many of us to answer in our journey through life and I’ve struggled with it many times, but what it comes down to is that I don’t believe in limiting myself by a label or description set in stone. When we live with a mindset of self-awareness and focus on our truth, we can remove society's harmful labels and judgments and live in an authentic state of awareness and intentional purpose.
For many years I saw myself as an entrepreneur at heart. Creating innovative businesses that helped people live better lives was my passion and it was also the core of my ego and identity. I lived fast, spent too much money, and made a name for myself. It was always fun and kept me moving on to each new adventure. I knew it was a lifestyle that wouldn’t last, and I found myself going out in style with a flourish just days before the pandemic hit. I knew without a doubt that this lifestyle was unsustainable and that I would have to be better in this rapidly changing world.
During the first year of the pandemic, I focused on improving leadership, removing doubts or fear of the unknown, and saving both of my businesses. It was a powerful time in my life, and I honed all my best skills to keep my dreams alive. As I began to realize that I had what it takes, I began to think about the rest of my life and the value that I can provide. I longed to do more with my life at this calamitous time and began to seek answers. After much soul searching and talks with close advisers and friends, I became The Happiness Warrior and made a commitment to living in my new identity.
I’ve focused on what it means to be The Happiness Warrior and the core values which are the foundation of who I am. I believe in the power of the greater good, doing the right thing, and holding myself up to my ideals and intentions. I see life as an intricate and ever-expanding game of choices and opportunities, most of them happy even when challenging.
The game of life can be difficult and full of unpleasant surprises, but I always look at my life as a magical adventure that I can win and enjoy. With this mindset I achieve more happiness and can better use my thoughts and actions to make the world around me better.
WE ARE NOT OUR EGO
Ego can be a lifetime struggle. It creates self-made fantasies and self-created negative emotions that hold us back from living in the present and loving who we truly are. Ego has often been my downfall many times in my life and has created much pain and poor choices. I even stayed in an abusive relationship for two long because my ego was too fragile and fearful of the truth.
WE ARE NOT OUR EMOTIONS
We are all emotional beings with deep feelings, most of them personal and unshared, but at times emotions can take over our consciousness and bring us to lonely and desperate states. When we allow outside and external forces to rule our thoughts, we become conditioned to believe that this is how we should live our lives, and this is what we deserve.
The first step in living in peace with ourselves is to gain an understanding of why we allow these emotions and ego to take control and shortchange our happiness, growth, and productivity.
The image we see of ourselves is nothing more than a self-created narrative of how we think the world sees us. The way we self-identify ourselves doesn’t always tell us who we really are. This way of seeing ourselves is an extension of egoistic thinking and our thoughts become who we are and control our consciousness and self-destructive behavior.
Some people often repeat the same words such as “I’m tired” or “I’m depressed”. Once this becomes a pattern it becomes embedded in our subconsciousness and our words become a self-fulfilling prophecy. A constantly revolving spiral of negative self-created egotistic emotions that guarantee failure and unhappiness.
This low vibration energy is something that can so easily be changed but usually ignored much to our unhappiness. Choices are always there and how we choose to feel emotions and the impact they have on our lives can never be ignored. Our words have spirit and empower us. The right words can lift our spirit and fill us with belief. Always consider that once something it’s said it never disappears. As The Happiness Warrior I’m always conscious of the inner turmoil that comes when I say something reactionary that comes from fear of the unknown. The emotional pain that comes from regrets is a hard lesson and a powerful teacher.
WE ARE LIVING IN THE PRESENT
To live in the present is to let go of everything that is beyond our control. Desire for something that is not ours removes our freedom and makes us dependent and weak. When we maintain control of our emotions, we can focus on what we can control: honesty, judgment, success, life-mastery, happiness, and personal freedom. If we take this to the highest level, we realize that we are responsible for our own destiny and not restrained by external forces for our success or happiness.
I’ve always believed that life is like a game, it has choices, obstacles, and even setbacks, but if we play it with the long term in mind, we can play it to win. When we love ourselves, remove our ego, and believe in our innate power, we create a manifestation of our intentions and dreams. Self-belief helps us to learn and identify the skills and abilities that make us unique and give us the power to “win” in our life by creating our self-fulling vision of the world we desire. This requires an infinite mindset in which anything is possible if we take the action needed to align our thoughts and desires with our self-created destiny. Live in the present, love who you are, and remember that you’re in control!