How to be someone we're proud of
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
Most of us go through our lives doing what’s expected of us. Grinding away through our lives without thinking much about our how we came to be in our present circumstances. A constant and never-ending cycle of seeking approval and meeting the expectations and desires of others.
Happy with a pat on the head or faint word of praise. Being told we’re special in order to gain influence. Resolutions made without any deep thought or meaning. Going from one task to the next without thinking of our destination. Finding ourselves feeling trapped in a cycle of drama and poorly considered reactions. We yearn for more and deserve better. Our dreams and destiny are hampered by our self-created negative emotions and feelings. Deep down we know that we are the only ones who can save ourselves. There’s always a spark even when we’re feeling defeated.
The longer we stay on this wheel of inertia and inaction the harder it becomes to change our direction. It can feel like a hopeless task but at some point we’ll reach a point where there’s no deeper than we can descend. A dark place that we’ve all found ourselves at one time or another. A place where we can rise and begin to make changes in our mindset and habits. Where we can learn who we are and feel our self-confidence rise. The choice to be who we want to be without permission from anyone else. The cease of desist of caring about the opinions of others.
It’s how our society works and how things have always been done. A system that’s designed to have power in the hands of a few that eventually erodes our basic human rights, core values, and happiness.
A paradigm where others make our decisions and pull the strings in our lives. An upside down and illogical power dynamic that creates so much pain and suffering. A system that impacts our alignment with truth and core values. A life lived for the sake of others and not our own.
We have the choice to be someone else’s pawn or learn to play the game of life with alacrity and passion.
HELP OTHERS TO FIND OURSELVES
For as long as I can remember I’ve taken a passionate interest in those who are hurting emotionally or live with physical difficulties. People making the motions to get through their days who’ve never been encouraged to limit their dreams and seek a safe place to hide in the shadows for the rest of their lives. These are the people who need us the most and have so much promise to offer. They go unheard and many of their innovations and ideas are never heard or seen. Those that feel most alone, unsupported, and ignored. The sad and often lonely folks around us who’ve lost their hope and happiness. Forever going through the motions in their lifeless routines, unhappy behaviors, and actions. A generational cycle of unhappiness and inability to live in our truth and authenticity.
Too often in life we’re encouraged by those around us to be quiet, submit, and conform. They tell us to follow their advice while they are confused and angry about their own lives and decisions. The words of those who lie to themselves are never worth any measure. Advice freely given without permission or thoughtfulness from people we don’t even respect. Big mouths with empty words and inaction that are lifeless and insignificant.
The choice is ours to be purposeful and have lives that have meaning. The pursuit of happiness is not found in our status and possessions but in our ability to come together and unite for a smile and laugh. This is how we gain empathy and wisdom. This is how we heal and forgive. The base of truth and authenticity that does so much to help and guide others.
BE AUTHENTIC AND LIVE IN TRUTH
Living in our truth and reveling in our authenticity are how we discover our freedom of thought and mind. It’s how we leave the worst parts of ourselves behind. A change of mindset where we can be our best every day and marvel at the choices that arise. A profound shift that comes when we realize that change is healthy and welcomed.
It’s easy to get caught up in the hype of our modern world and look at things from a filtered perspective. Real people doing real things online is almost impossible to determine. So many ways to fool the mind of both the viewer and the presenter.
Delusional behavior is a character flaw that will only lead to more chaos and unhappiness. The truth will always prevail and lead us to a place of greater happiness and forgiveness. We have the right to say no when we feel that our path has turned.
As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that all humans have the right to be happy and live their lives in truth and life-affirming actions. We deserve to be a better version of ourselves every day and have the power to make it happen. Too often it’s just a matter of giving ourselves permission to be happy and feel whole. A time to grow and release our groundless fears and stubborn inhibitions. Hug more, smile more, read books, and gather information. Make discoveries in once familiar places and open our minds to new growth and opportunities. Life is an adventure and game that is better played when we are secure with who we are and able to feel happy whenever we desire.
THE NEW LIFE PLAN
1. Determine where you want to be in five days, five months, and five years. This can be an eye-opening exercise and help us to determine if we are on the right path. Be brave and don’t hold back our dreams that we must make happen.
2. Emotionally connect to the inner self and align mindset with the reality that we envision. Act accordingly and life will always work out. Nothing is more important than self-awareness and learning to love ourselves.
3. Invest in self-education, learning new ways of doing things, and seeking innovative ideas and people. This is a basic skill that is innate and often forgotten. We have to learn to survive and help others in the world around us thrive. We humans are at our best when we are empathetic, cooperative, and display integrity.
4. Understand that the best outcome for ourselves is entirely self-created. Suffering is a part of life that all humans experience. Pain is both a teacher and guide to a new reality. Focus on healing and moving forward rather than wallowing in victimhood and false narratives.
5. Focus on progress rather than milestone achievements. The closer we get to our goal with self-discipline and mindfulness the sooner we’ll be living the life of our dreams. One small step today and another tomorrow is how we make things happen. Nothing has ever been accomplished with a wish or fake prayer.
6. Be proactive and take responsibility for all words and actions. The sooner we learn the value of personal accountability the happier we’ll become. This is how leaders and warriors are created through their integrity and strength of intention.
7. Create a dynamic where all of our actions have a purpose and make a difference. This isn’t hard to do when we realize that deep down we are all equally responsible for creating our present circumstances. All of us play a part in everything. No one is above it all.
8. Face obstacles and harder tasks head on. Don’t shirk, don’t obfuscate, and never hide from the inevitable. The pressure is too great and can cause us to act inappropriately or engage in unhealthy habits and behaviors. Note: the golden rule for problems is that they will become larger when ignored.
9. Seek outcomes that benefit the greater good. This is natural behavior for someone who is already happy. It’s a scientific fact that happy people naturally spread happiness and display empathy for others.
10. Be an empathetic communicator and listener. This is how we discover the motives of others without appearing to pry too deeply. Listening rather than speaking too much is a sure way to rise and live in a state of higher vibration. Karma is real.
Becoming who we want to can be a joyful task when we are able to let go of structural concepts and opinions that no longer serve us. It can also be a period in life where we must let go of people that no longer serve us well. A time to question our values and learn what makes us tick. A place where we can let go, forgive, and build a solid foundation for change and reinvention. Being ourselves is an act of courage and with a joyful sense of personal accountability. Be brave, be bold and be the best we can be!
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