A CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
As The Happiness Warrior, I’ve always tried to think outside of the narrow confines of the world in which I was raised. My family was very conservative, and we were always pushed and often shamed into conforming to their acceptable comfort zone. From an early age I knew I saw the world in a different light from a different perspective and to look at things in my own way. I didn’t really understand the meaning of it all when I was young, but later in life I realized that I had an innate sense of empathy that has always made me feel connected with those who experience the world like I do.
Life can be humbling at times, and humility is a lesson that I’ve repeated many times in my life. I’ve learned from my mistakes and always try to do better going forward. If we truly follow the golden rule and “do unto others”, we can live lives with a greater sense of understanding and compassion for others. So often we are programmed to shame and judge our fellow humans without a clue as to what someone is going through in their own lives and even that day. Practicing love and acceptance may feel difficult at first but is something that can grow over time. When we are more at peace with ourselves, we can truly see the people around us and experience our humanity at a higher level.
I have always been someone who’s physical fitness is a very life-affirming element of my identity. I have been a personal trainer, lifelong athlete, and operate a well-known anti-aging clinic. At the age of 57 years, I work out with weights 4-5 days per week, ride my bike through hills in the park several days a week, and walk my two pit bulls vigorously for 2-3 miles every day. I am very active, always moving, and my husband often calls me a machine. It has always been easy to live in my head as a Warrior and use my natural abilities to be a more effective leader. I use my strength to serve and try hard every day to make a difference. Life is amazing when we are happy and feel good about who we are in our bodies and our minds, but it can also come to a grinding halt and leave us feeling helpless.
One very dark pre-dawn morning last week I woke up in my usual great mood and started my day. I said my morning affirmation, enjoyed my daily routine of stretching and breathing, and was looking forward to the amazing day ahead of me. Seconds before the dog walk, I missed a tread at the top of the stairs, and all too soon lay in a crumpled heap in the darkness at the top of the landing. The pain was crushingly intense, but I pulled myself up and carefully made my way down the stairs. I told myself that it was just a sprain and only needed rest.
My subconsciousness took over and I immediately forgave myself. Forgiveness is an essential in the healing process. I had let my usual high degree of mindfulness slip, and I immediately started questioning myself in search of answers. Why did I let this happen and what is my subconscious state of mind? I knew I was preoccupied with business-related issues, and I was too “in my head” with strategy and thinking about the future. I had let myself slip and I was feeling hurt, uneasy, and anxious.
I had no idea what was wrong at the time but had created what I thought was a massive bone bruise and walking was not going to happen that day without experiencing a lot of pain. Luckily, my husband was there to take care of the dogs (and me) and while he was out. I thought about going to the emergency room, but I told myself that I’d see how I felt in the morning.
I took it easy the next day, was feeling a bit better, and wanted to pull my weight around the house and walk one of my dogs with my husband. My inner voice told me to be careful and not go, but my ego took over and I went anyway. Olive, my pit bull, is not fond of rain and she naturally pulled me to the alley to take a familiar short-cut home. In a flash. I tripped on a curb, I lost my balance and both legs gave away. Now I had two hurt legs throbbing with pain. I made my way home and sat down in shock. I had really messed myself up. Short bursts of fear and despair crept into my thoughts. In that moment, I felt helpless and damaged with an irrational fear that I was beyond repair.
I knew that I needed to stay in the present and began breathing and telling myself that I wasn’t afraid. I kept telling myself that all would be well and began to calm my mind. I kept telling myself that “all is well”.
The next day, my husband insisted we go to the emergency room. We called an ambulance because I was unable to walk down the front steps with confidence. For the first time in my life, I heard the ambulance siren coming for me! It was an eerie feeling and one that I never want to hear again. The two female EMTs were friendly, confident, and put me at ease. I told myself to trust everyone who I encountered that day and that they were here to help. I also strongly reminded myself that I’m The Happiness Warrior and I felt a rush of gratitude for my chosen path and mindset. Almost immediately, I thought of others who are not as fortunate as I and live this way every day. They are brave ones we often overlook.
We take so much in this life for granted and often ignore or fear those who aren’t as able as we are. We are all humans and learning to experience how others live is a great lesson in a world that dehumanizes so many every day.
I believe that we can always find happiness despite our pain and grow stronger. Through our pain we cand find our peace and raise our empathy for others. We can use this expanded feeling of empathy as a guide us through life and connect and share our life experience. Everyone needs to be seen and respected no matter how they appear at first sight and how different their lives may be. There’s nothing to fear but ourselves and our preconceived ideas!
Overcoming fear of people who we experience the world differently helps us to change our perspective and create more magic in our own lives. Empathy is the key to more happiness. Despite the pain I’m going through, I know I can always find happiness from what I’ve learned and gain greater wisdom. Just because we’ve been hurt or injured doesn’t mean we can’t create the mindset for our own happy ending!
When we increase our empathy, we can more easily see and feel the feelings of others. Empathy helps us connect with those who are struggling. Being kind is easy when you feel it in your heart and live without judgement.
HABITS OF EMPATHETIC PEOPLE
1. Tell yourself that you like everyone and cultivate a mindset for curiosity about others.
2. Challenge your preconceptions and connect with your commonalities.
3. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
4. Listen hard and open your mind. Listening is not the same thing as waiting for your turn to speak.
5. Inspire change for the greater good of all.
6. Live the life you dream about and develop an ambitious imagination.
7. Try to find one thing to connect with those that we disagree with. Our enemies are often just like us but with a different perspective.
Writing this column has been an emotional journey. I’m so grateful and feel so connected with those of you who read this and hope it helps guide you in some way through your own personal path. We’re stronger together when we connect and raise our vibration. I’ll be updating my thoughts and experiences in the coming weeks as I continue to heal and share my healing journey. Be well!