WITH PAIN COMES GROWTH
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
Make the best use of what is in your power, take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us, and some things are not -- Epictetus
As humans, we’ll all experience some sort of physical pain in our lives. It’s a part of life and takes many forms throughout our existence. We can ease our pain and better understand it’s source when we share our stories of our struggles and triumphs. When we do this, we can help ourselves to make some sense of our own emotions and connect with others to use our pain to help others. When we experience pain, we can also feel forgiveness and greater self-awareness. When we choose forgiveness, we are creating a renewed sense of mindfulness and a better place to heal ourselves.
This creates an essential state of being that anyone can use on their own journey of healing and renewal. We’re only victims if we choose to be and often the only thing stopping us from healing is our inability to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. Understanding and empathy come when we can easily bend, be flexible, and move forward with our lives. We can find happiness from our lowest points when we are at peace with ourselves.
Pain can provide a great deal of suffering, but it can also be a vessel for incredible growth and wisdom.
A couple of weeks ago I had an accident at the top of the steps in my house on a dark early morning. The house had been cleaned the day before and I remember admiring the shine of my old hardwood floors. I slipped on the top step and landed on the wall directly ahead. My right leg had snapped backwards at the knee all I felt was intense pain. I took a few deep breaths and managed to limp my way downstairs. I told myself that it was only a sprain and sat down to reflect and find a way to continue with the day. I told myself that I would get better with rest and “avoided'' my fear of the emergency room. I always tell myself that I’m not afraid of anything, but to be honest, for just a little while, I allowed my fear and anxiety of hospitals to enter my mind. Unknowingly at the time, I had ruptured my front quads and would need major surgery in the next week.
I’m not one to spiral into despair and as upset as I was, I began to pull myself together. I know above everything else that I was going to heal but had no idea of the path ahead. I immediately set my intention to healing and got to work with positive affirmations. I knew that I needed to reach an understanding of why I got hurt and began meditating and using breathing techniques to calm my mind. I found myself meditating at a higher level than ever before and felt a greater connection with the universe. Afterwards, I reminded myself that “all will be well”, even though I was still unaware of the severity of my injuries. I knew that anxiety would cause me to spiral downwards, and I began to pull.
HOW TO CHANGE AN ANXIOUS MINDSET
You have the power over your mind, realize this and you will find strength — Marcus Aurelius
It’s perfectly normal and human to feel anxious and allow fear and despair to enter our thoughts when we’re hurt and in pain. These are negative emotions and self-created but it’s hard for many of us to not get sucked into this emotional and dark spiral. As hard as I was trying, there was a moment where I felt myself being pulled in with an almost overwhelming sense of desperation. I kept telling myself that fear is irrational and self-created. I know this to be the truth, but it still haunted me at the time. I felt cold and alone with a deep sense of fear of the unknown. I’ve lived through enough in my life and refuse to live with anxiety. So, I took a few deep breaths and thought about something I read recently that I thought it though would help:
Close your eyes and take a deep breath into your diaphragm, hold for four seconds, release through your mouth, hold and do nothing for four seconds, and breathe in four seconds once again. Do this for as long as you need. Your consciousness should feel lighter, and you will know when it’s safe to stop. When finished, open your eyes, and look at your surroundings. What do you see? Do you see a loved one, the television, a chair, a pet, or your sofa? It doesn’t matter what you see when you open your eyes but use this to center yourself and bring your mind back to the present. Tell yourself that “all is well”. If we can do this, we can get through each step of the journey ahead with clarity and focus. Worrying about the future never helps us heal.
CREATE A POSITIVE STORY
One of the best ways to lift ourselves up is to share our story in a life-affirming way to assist in our own healing and help others who may be struggling. The first thing I thought was that I will write a book to share my experience but also share what I’ve learned each step of the way. It's a way for me to heal with a purpose and stay true to my Happiness Warrior Core Values.
BREATHE AND EASILY BEND
As The Happiness Warrior I believe that we can learn a lot about what’s going on in our lives when we get hurt or feel pain. It’s there to teach us lessons and will be repeated if we don’t stop and listen. Learning to be more flexible and removing ourselves from our ego is the way to greater health and happiness.
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS AND LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
Is there a form of happiness beyond the mere repetition of pleasure and avoidance of pain? —Sam Harris
One of the greatest things that I’ve learned from my current experience is the need to listen to my pain and not try to “work” through it and pretend that I’ll be okay. With this injury, I feel like my ego intervened in my self-care and my body and spirit suffered. To counteract this, I’ve been practicing self-awareness, breathing and meditation and telling myself to let go and trust that others are here to help me.
FEEL COMPASSION
When we feel empathy grow and guide us through life, we can be much happier and feel more connected with others. In the last week I’ve experienced first-hand what life is like in a wheelchair and my compassion for others has only grown and given me strength and gratitude.
SURRENDER AND LET GO
It’s always been very hard for me to surrender and let others take control. It’s a humbling experience and essential for personal growth. As I face surgery tomorrow, I know that I must let the universe hold me in its arms and feel gratitude for everyone that’s helping me heal and renew myself.
FEEL GRATITUDE
Gratitude is the source of happiness and I feel nothing but gratitude for everything in my life. I have intentionally built an incredible life with many good people in my world. I’m grateful beyond measure for the ability to feel their energy and feel their love. Healing is easier when we’re happier and grateful.
INTENTIONAL HEALING
I believe that words have power and spirit and that we can heal both our minds and our bodies with our own positive energy and affirmations. I do this by envisioning myself as fully healed and doing an activity that I enjoy.
One of the hardest things for me now is not being able to walk my dogs until I heal from my surgery. I use the power of quantum physics by envisioning us in Rock Creek Park and walking in a big field that we love. This is the power of intention that all of us can use to help us heal and move forward with a greater sense of knowing and positivity.
Healing and pain are experiences that teaches and guides us through life. No one wants to feel pain or hurt, but the transformative powers are there to help us grow. Life is journey and there will always be “bumps” in the road. How we move forward and understand is a lesson that can a powerful revelatory experience. I look forward to sharing my experiences and adventures ahead. What is life about anyway if we don’t learn from our experiences and adventures?
