“Amor Fati – “Love Your Fate”, which is in fact your life.” Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes it’s easy to fall into a trap of our own making. We forget the big picture and merely look to survive and hang on in this often crazy, upside-down, and chaotic world. To make it even more complicated, every day we’re confronted by a multitude of distractions which our attention away from ourselves and encourage us to ignore our true feelings.
We’re also easily provoked and wounded by the people out there who judge us and try to cause us shame. It’s easy to forget ourselves when we make the mistake of fearing the unknown thoughts and perceptions of others. We forget to live in the present and feel gratitude for our very being. Almost without knowing it one day we find our narrative controlled by others and happiness seems like a dream.
As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that the antidote is the attitude that we take. It’s the energy we project and use to move forward in our lives. As individuals we are always more powerful than the status quo allows. We can find much greater happiness and gratitude in our lives when we are happy in the present and proud to tell our own story. The one that’s uniquely ours.
No matter what our circumstances, each of us has the power to forge the attitude that makes the most impact on our lives. We can set our destiny for happiness and fulfillment. We can create a magical life when we trust our innermost thoughts and live by defined personal core values.
I’ve always believed that even in the most desperate of times, there’s a light somewhere in our subconsciousness just waiting for our spirit to illuminate and grow stronger. This light creates the attitude we take in life to change our destiny. This choice might seem far away, but it’s just waiting for us to give it permission to enlighten our spirit. A choice that’s ours alone to bring forth or sadly continue to hide from our consciousness.
Over the years, I’ve had more than my share of stories to tell, but none is more important than understanding the darkness of my past and my gratitude for the lessons that it’s taught me. I’ve known almost unbearable pain and suffering but I used my inner voice to guide me and help me rise. In the worst of times, I found my spirit and knew that one day all would be right.
I believe that all knowledge can be found within, and we always know the difference between wrong and right. The easy path is never the one that brings us peace. Know this and learn to love the challenges that life provides.
As The Happiness Warrior I never forget, distance as necessary, forgive easily, and encourage my empathy to grow and guide me. My goal is to always be my very best and create value in my actions. Attitude can be our greatest superpower!
Most of our problems come from our egos and insecurities. Learn to be happy and let things go. Raise your vibration and connect with your spirit. This is how we steer our lives towards our goal of greater gratitude and happiness.
How we live and how we thrive is how we learn to love who we are and develop each of our innate gifts and powers. Some are born to lead, and others are there to support and follow. The attitude we take is the way we move forward, face our obstacles head on, and adapt to change in a landscape that’s always evolving.
One of the greatest lessons we can learn is the importance of accepting our fate and being in the now. What is happening in this minute as you read this is all that matters, the future hasn’t happened, and the past is already forgotten. Ask yourself where you are at this moment and ask yourself if you are content and happy? This is what it means to accept our fate as the philosopher Nietzsche wrote over a century ago.
Do you ever feel like you’re running in circles, constantly repeating the same mistakes, and looking forward to the rest of your life with dread and anticipation? If so, that's what it feels like when we resist who we are, resist our natural inclinations, and live for the expectations and values of others. That’s what it feels like when we don’t accept our fate and don’t understand what it means to live in the present. Negativity breeds negativity, make the choice to do without.
Perception is the key to understanding where we are in life. It’s how we can be honest with ourselves and learn to practice self-awareness. We never know what anyone else is thinking but we do have an inner voice that guides our actions and creates our unique reality. Listen to your heart and take yourself seriously. Ask if this is really who you are or projection of someone else’s reality?
The actions we take are indicative of our priorities in life. Mean what you say and do what you mean is a golden rule to follow with every action we take. Be strong in conviction and mindset and live in a state of knowing and intention. This is how we learn to love and trust ourselves. This is the secret to our reinvention.
LEARN TO SAY NO
As someone who used to feel it was my duty to please everyone, I was rarely comfortable with the word “no” when I was younger. In my need to be liked and valued I wasn’t valuing myself. This led to a cycle of not caring about emotional needs and engaging in reckless acts and behaviors. It was a destructive force and one that led to much pain and unnecessary suffering. Like it or not, these almost unbearable lessons in life shape who we are in the present. We can live in our truth and still forgive ourselves.
When we learn to say no, our powers grow, and self-esteem rises. Pick your options wisely and say yes to life and all it has to offer. Be strong in conviction and always be ready when it’s really needed. I believe that all actions should have a purpose and align with our core values. Be your own hero and know when to let someone or something go. No is the most powerful word in any language. Use it wisely and change your life!
NEGATIVES ARE ONLY A SETBACK
One of the first things I learned in business is to always take care of my problems immediately. The longer they are unattended the larger they become and the time it takes to address them grows exponentially. It’s a vicious cycle that we can only ignore for so long, but once they catch up with us they become deep regrets. We cannot run and we cannot hide, be a warrior for yourself and face your adversaries and obstacles head on. We have the power to break down our enemies when we are strong.
No pain is worse than giving up on ourselves and letting our problems hamper our spirit. Life only has one direction and that is forward, be your best supporter and love yourself enough to live in your truth. Only then can we truly accept our fate and create our best lives. We have choices and sometimes the best of us is forged in pain.
JUDGE LESS AND OBSERVE MORE
How often have we misjudged someone or something only to find ourselves embarrassed and remorseful? As humans it’s a natural instinct for us to label everything as a way to communicate but it often ends in misunderstanding.
1. Stop being a know-it-all and give someone else a chance to speak.
2. Stop yourself from judging so quickly, we never know what someone else is thinking or going through.
3. Learn to observe.
4. Ask questions respectfully and wait to listen.
5. Think before you speak or react. This is the hardest for most of us but delivers the most rewards!
KNOW YOUR TRUTH
As humans we create our identity both inwards and with our identification and connection with society. Our perception is created by how we view ourselves and how we “think” others view us. This mindset can alter our behavior and cause great anxiety and unhappiness. It’s confusing and backwards, but too often we rarely let the world see our true nature and feel the joy of being our authentic selves.
Knowing our truth is about making a commitment to ourselves and living in a state of authenticity and peace. We do not have to seek the approval of another to find approval with ourselves. This happiness and fulfillment increase as we learn to let go of negative thoughts and behaviors. Hate has so much finality, use words that soothe your anger and increase understanding. We are only letting ourselves down when we fight with others who we don’t understand. Love yourself for who you are, and your conflicts will lose their bite. Be grateful for the lessons learned and never repeat your past mistakes. This is the path to happiness, gratitude, and greater fulfillment in everything we do.