Most of the time we don’t even register the thought, but so many of us spend our lives sabotaging our happiness with negative emotions and unnecessary guilt or shame. For whatever reason, we don’t think we deserve to be happy. We’re not even sure if we’re allowed to be happy and when it touches us we shrink back and question its reality. It’s the curse that so many of us fall under. This self-made prison that keeps us from becoming our greatest creation and keeps us from being fulfilled and able to keep our long-forgotten hopes and promises.
The greatest gift to growing older is the wisdom we accumulate and the ability to look back at our lives with clarity and see the world as it really is. It’s this practice of self-awareness that helps us to see our old traps and harmful cycles of doubts and self-created fears. It can be painful and make us feel regret. but it can also a great revelation when we see how hard we’ve been on ourselves without any reason.
If we can see the value in our mistakes we can start living our lives with hope and promise. We can stop living in a state of fear and regret. We can find greater happiness in our purpose and momentum.
When we learn to see how we’ve sabotaged our lives in the past, we can create the lives we’ve always dreamed about. We can live with intention and knowing that we can do anything. It’s when we finally knew the truth that we’ve suppressed for so long. The only thing stopping or holding us back is ourselves. Old fears are soon forgotten.
As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that many of us have a deeper purpose for our lives than we’ve been led to believe. We’ve been taught to conform, follow the expectations of others, and to be content with what we’re given. We are shamed when we raise our voices. We’ve been taught to view happiness as an aspiration that we feel we don’t deserve.
The world can be a cruel place for the authentic and truthful. Too often our voices remain unheard. It’s time to shift and speak our voice while considering the voices of others. Let’s change how we see ourselves and move forward with an attitude of acceptance, gratitude, and resilience. Let’s become our own warriors and realize our dreams and inspirations.
THE VALIDATION TRAP
Some live for meaningless, and superficial validation, and others seek to be quiet and stay in the shadows. This is reality that we’re told to accept. It is the antithesis of happiness and the cause of much emotional distress and pain. Why do we sabotage ourselves when we have so much potential?
– We believe the lies because we aren’t self-aware.
– We ignore truth and suppress the guiding force of our inner voice.
– We don’t see the truth despite the facts.
– We forget that all knowledge comes from within and suppress our inner voice.
– We react when we know better much to our dismay.
Life can exceed our expectations when we learn to identify the signs and emotional cues that lead to our self-sabotage.
Fear can be the greatest killer of dreams unless we understand our truths and realize that vulnerability is our greatest superpower.
Go forth in life with a light heart knowing that anything can happen and be proud of your ability to find resilience and embrace change. The world is always moving, and we can only make it better when we’re moving with it.
WHAT WE IGNORE
All too often in life, many of us ignore the self-guiding wisdom of our intuition and succumb to irrational fears and self-created negative emotions. This halts us from reaching our full potential and developing our innate gifts and powers. This might give us an illusion of safety, but rarely the satisfaction and comfort that we believe we’re seeking. It’s a spiral which we can conquer when we are honest with ourselves and learn the freedom that comes from our old habits and self-created emotions.
When we change the way we see ourselves and live in our truth anything is possible. Happiness is much more abundant when we:
- Stop holding on to our resentments.
- Stop comparing ourselves to others.
- Stop or never use the word victim to describe yourself. Victimhood is a self-created fallacy. We can be targeted but it’s not our choice.
- Stop living in the past, the present is all that matters.
- Stop living in fear for things that might not ever happen.
- Stop surrounding ourselves with people who make us unhappy. Letting them go can be the best thing we’ve ever done. Always making others happy is the sure way to a happier, more connected life for ourselves.
Start surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and make you happy. Most self-sabotage starts when we continually encounter and do nothing about people who aren’t good for us.
Our spirit rises when we set boundaries, abide by truthfulness, and practice self-awareness. This helps us find peace in acceptance of the past and helps us create understanding. Only the truth can raise our vibration and fuel our positive energy. All problems become smaller when we are honest without ourselves and ignore our damaging ego.
MAKE IT REAL
There’s no time like the present to stop self-sabotage. It’s the cause of so much unhappiness and unnecessary suffering and one which we are fully in control of. Most of the damage experienced in life is self-created and undeserved. When we change the narrative to one of confidence and self-empowerment we can become the best versions of ourselves.
-- Understand that we do deserve to live the life of our dreams.
-- Realize that avoiding adventure and new situations is killing your reality.
-- Stop comparing ourselves with others. Especially those that we don’t even respect or admire in the first place.
-- Start doing creative things, this goes best when we make our own rules without fear of shame or judgment. Do we really know what anyone else is thinking?
-- Show up and focus on making an impact. We are greater when our actions have value and intention.
-- Be kind always and be grateful that empathy is learned.
SETBACKS ARE TEMPORARY
Fear can be processed and understood. It can be reshaped to create the reality that we wish for.
Look back in time when needed and think back on fears that never materialized. How small and insignificant do they seem now?
Developing core values is essential and maintaining a “ready for anything” outlook is powerful.
HOW WE CAN TRIUMPH
As humans we have the inherent powers of empathy, resilience, intention, and courage. As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that these are superpowers which all humans possess but many have never tapped or reached their full potential.
Through our trials we develop greater strength of will, wisdom, and life-mastery. These are the skills and mindsets that make us purposeful and worth living. We can always be better when we are strong in our knowledge of ourselves.
With a warrior-mindset there’s no other choice than to be strong and resilient.
1. Identify recurring thoughts that make us uneasy or unhappy. Be specific
2. Instead of being defensive, think about what might have gone wrong on your part and take personal responsibility.
3. Own both the problem and the solution.
4. Let any feelings that arise pass through you, how does it feel on the other side?
5. Realize that anger is a selfish and harmful self-created emotion. If anger arises, keep it to a short burst and get it out of your system. Preferably alone in a private place.
--Stay present, focus on what’s good now and not on the past
TAP INTO INTUITION AND BE HAPPIER
Life has a way of providing us with most of the answers even if we don’t see them clearly at first. When we learn to trust and heed our intuitive thoughts we learn the secrets that we’ve always missed much to our misfortune. When we forget to trust ourselves first, our lives have less fulfillment and meaning. Listening to our intuition helps us make better choices and better pathways for our lives. It’s the gateway to finding our identity and living in truth. It’s the authenticity that helps us rise and become happier and more satisfied with who we are. No apologies and no self or societal shame allowed.
Our opinion of ourselves shapes our reality. When we learn to show up for our lives the transformation of our spirit continues, and our vibration rises. Happiness becomes a normal state, and we are ready for anything.
Life gives us many lessons and opportunities and how we choose to make the most of them and realize our potential is the story of our lives. Developing self-awareness is a lifelong task and the more clearly we see ourselves the happier we can be with our lives.
I believe that we can all rise to our potential when we can be honest with ourselves about who we are. Our authentic being resides in all of us, it’s time for all of us to let it out. All humans have the power to be their best. Love yourself enough to let it happen. A magical life is what it’s all about.