As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that there are many wrongs in the world that can still be made right, but often our worst and most dangerous enemy is ourselves. We are born to shine and be happy, but too often life gets in the way, and we find ourselves spiraling and succumb to the forces of darkness. When we are on this negative path life can feel like it’s smothered in clouds that will never dissipate. It may seem like the spiral will go on forever, but I know that there’s a spirit found deep within all of us that wants to rise and break free. All humans are born with a will to live but how we accept this and give our lives meaning is a choice that many will ignore to their great suffering.
As humans we all have choices that can impact our lives in just a moment. These choices can change the trajectory of our stories and lead us to places we never dreamed of. The wrong choice sometimes feels like the easiest, but it will always hurt our ability to grow and flourish. Our ability to choose is also our savior. How we pick ourselves up and make better decisions is our greatest narrative. Life is like a great game filled with obstacles and wins. How we play it is also our choice to look at ourselves in a kinder light and realize that happiness that comes from within.
Almost twenty years ago I left an almost ten-year abusive relationship. I felt broken, very alone, and burdened with much shame and guilt. For all those years I had let a sociopath control my life and I was confused, embarrassed, and angry. Most of my anger was directed consciously at myself and became my own worst enemy. It was a dark time, and I spent a lot of hours alone stewing with my thoughts and regrets.
One day I was at a coffee shop and a kind stranger looked in my eyes and said, “Think of three things right now that make you happy?” I never saw him again and can’t remember his face, but his words had a lasting impact that are still with me today. That was the day I began to take control of my life once again and began to realize my long-forgotten value and potential. It was also the beginning of my reinvention and starting place for my mission to find and understand happiness. I knew deep in my consciousness that I would be happy again and would pay back the kindness I received by helping others who are struggling to find their way.
Abusive relationships are different for everyone but the damage to our self-esteem can feel like something that we can never repair. It’s personal and if we’re not careful it can define our lives indefinitely. Shame is an unfortunate consequence and something that we can mistakenly think we deserve. Shame is an insidious and silent killer of hopes and dreams. Once we remove this terrible poison from our minds, we can begin to forgive ourselves and live in our authenticity. Our truths are so much more than what others tell us. Know your strengths and use them to conquer negative emotions and self-created doubts. Your inner voice is your power, and intuition is your guide!
CHANGE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER
Have you ever stopped to take a deep look at yourself and realize that you’re not the same person as you thought you once were and how much you’ve changed? I believe that this is how many of us feel as we move through the playing board of this game, we call life. A game with many challenges, obstacles, highs, and lows. Sometimes it might feel like we’re defeated and ruined, but other times a spark of hope or intention ignites our powers, and we move forward with skill and wisdom. Life gives us what we can make of it, and I believe that we all need a fairer playing field in which we can express ourselves and discover who we really are.
We can’t rise and redefine who we are until we are secure with ourselves. When we are unafraid to show who we are. Authenticity is a gift that all of us have and too often hide. Celebrate who you are and live in your truth. Find the courage to be yourself and learn what it means to be authentic and true. We are supposed to be happy but how can we be joyful when we’re hiding from ourselves?
Authenticity is more than just a concept but a way of life that changes everything that we once knew and finally makes us feel whole. It provides integrity and gives us courage to conquer our fears and believe in our dreams. Happiness is not the only aim in life, but when we’re happy and authentic we raise our self-esteem, enhance our appearance, and increase our intelligence. Find the courage to discover who you really are and let your spirit soar!
POSITIVE WORDS AND AFFIRMATIONS
If you think in a pessimistic way life will have a way of making you feel more pain and misery. Mindset is everything and we can only be happy when we give ourselves permission to be happy. Stop being programmed by others and be aware of outside influences who want to hold you down and change who you are. They are not worth your time and fill up too much space in our heads. Learn to see them for who they really are and have empathy for their misunderstandings and lack of self-esteem. Why listen to advice or criticism for someone you don’t respect or feel uneasy with?
1. Learn to say no to things that are against your core values and make you feel uncomfortable. No is a powerful word, if someone doesn’t accept your answer it might be time to let them go. There are other more empathetic people who are further along in their development to connect with and experience more happiness.
2. Stop taking yourself so seriously, life is a big game, and we all have our losses and wins. Learn from each fall and rise again with greater wisdom and knowledge. Circumstances will repeat themselves until you can shrug them off and learn to move on. Life is always better when we live in harmony with the present. The past is long gone and the future that we fear might never happen.
3. Don’t live your life for others. Be your authentic self. Surround yourself with positive people whose energy resonates with joy.
4. Spend time in nature and disconnect with your busy life. Nature is always moving and flowing. Learn to breathe and stretch. Hugging a tree might sound ridiculous at first, but the benefits are undeniable. Stop feeling like everyone else is watching you and be free with your love and wonder for your surroundings. Science has shown repeatedly that time outdoors is beneficial for our bodies, hearts, and minds.
5. Look at things in a positive way even if something bad is happening. Everything we experience in the moment is where we are supposed to be. Know that you can solve any problem when you stop hurting yourself and learn to connect with the guiding energy of the universe. We all have a choice to live in our pain and suffering or decide to heal and move on. There are only two directions to take on this path. Look deep into your soul and ask which is the best choice for you?
6. Emphasize mental and physical health above all else. When we take care of our bodies, we take care of our minds, and we find resilience in the self-discipline that comes from loving ourselves.
Accept who you are and take inventory of yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses and rise from this base of understanding.
INTENTION DEVELOPS YOUR MINDSET
Intention is a word that when taken to heart has great meaning and power. When creating our personal intention, it’s important to consider these questions:
Who do you want to be?
What do you want?
Do you like yourself?
When we learn to change how we think about ourselves we can be whoever we want to be. Our mindset changes when we believe in ourselves and our set our intention to create the best version of ourselves. The version of you that’s lying beneath the surface that’s just waiting to reveal themselves and show the world your power. Intention is a powerful tool when we understand that it only takes action to make it real. Action is the key to change and being our best. The best plans are only words until they take place in our daily lives. Change your way of thinking and create a life with more self-awareness and momentum. Picture yourself making a difference in others’ lives. Be a powerful warrior for your dreams and aspirations!
SELF DISCIPLINE IS SELF LOVE
Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment—Jim Rohn
Loving ourselves is always the best and most natural way to live our lives. Too often this is vilified in our society, and we’re told that our needs and innermost thoughts are selfish and vain. Instead of reacting to this behavior, think about what the other person wants and their hidden desires. Why change yourself or avoid someone because they want to control your actions? Be your best and know that you deserve to live in compatibility with your true nature and goals. Self-discipline is the path to creation and living more purposeful and masterful lives.
All actions have consequences whether we like it or not and the consequences can reach further than we realize. Stop making excuses for inaction and hesitation, the only one getting in your way is you!
We are products of our environment. Spend your time wisely with people who are productive, happy, and have an overwhelming sense of purpose in their lives. These are special people that lead by example and are happy and grateful for their sense of self-discipline. Always remember that the people that we spend time with tell us and others a lot about ourselves.
Is it important enough to change your focus and way of life to get what you want?
Each new day is a choice to make yourself great. Do you want to be your best today or do you want to drop out and wait for another time that might never happen? We are all constantly evolving and healing from our traumas. Life itself is a miracle when we heal and gain wisdom from our past. Set your mindset to lifting yourself up and allowing yourself to be happy. Turning our lives around is an exciting and dynamic process to be celebrated. We all have setbacks but if we push ahead our lives will change, self-esteem rises, and happiness grows. Each of us has the power to change who we are and feel that happiness that comes when we trust ourselves and know that we deserve to be happy!