Be good to yourself

Many of us go through life hearing an almost endless supply of negative messages about ourselves, unfair criticisms, or are just random casualties in the crueler moments of our daily existence. It can be debilitating, hurtful, and make us feel invisible. It can cause us to internalize and accept these judgements and fallacies that are so harmful and keep us from feeling safe and happy. Negative words and thoughts can hurt and cripple our development, ability to feel happiness, harm our relationships, and affect our choices and opportunities. Unkind and hateful words have a way of coming back to the aggressor without benefit or value for anyone.

It can be hard to tune out these negative voices but once we realize that it’s all in our mindset, we can cast them out to rise and be our best and find the good in our authenticity and our innermost selves. Our society has taught us to seek pleasure and excitement, but it rarely tells us the value of being true to our spirit and living without the need for external validation. To be happy, we need to be able to find the good in ourselves that makes our spirit and fulfillment grow. Everything we need to know comes from within and increasing our level of self-awareness and self-love is our greatest power!

As The Happiness Warrior, I want to help us rise above these petty judgments and unfair characterizations. To raise our self-esteem and create the lives we deserve and dream about. No one else has the right to tell us who we are, define us, and control our happiness. Life is hard enough, but until we learn to trust ourselves and feel gratitude and contentment for who we are we will never rise above our detractors and get past our self-imposed obstacles and fear-based defenses.

I grew up in the South of the nineteen seventies in a time when we people like me who were different were taught to hate ourselves. People who “acted funny” and didn’t conform were rarely tolerated and usually removed from sight and driven away by hateful words or violence. From my earliest memories I knew I would have to try hard to fit in. I consciously kept myself quiet and tried to stay out of the spotlight. I knew that I was out of place, but realistically I also knew that I wouldn’t be stuck there forever.

I lived in a world of books, long walks in the woods with my dog, and my vivid imagination for my future. I dreamed of a brighter path where I could be free to express myself and not feel shamed and forgotten. I knew that someday I would get to live the life that I deserved, and nothing could stop me except myself.

The world of my younger years was at odds with my conscious beliefs and personal values. I had no one to talk to or relate with. I longed for someone that I could let my guard down with and say aloud what I’d always kept hidden. I was locked up in a prison in my own mind and often felt ashamed and somewhat broken. Happiness will always be elusive when we don’t know how to be good to ourselves.

While I was growing up the adults in my life fought, cheated, and lied with abandon. I rarely saw them happy or smiling with joy or affection. They were never at peace with themselves and anesthetized their hypocritical and unhappy lives with television, material goods, gossip, and other hypocritical distractions. I knew that they loved me in their own way, but always felt a sense of disappointment and fear of rejection.

So, I learned to observe and listen and keep myself quiet. I knew I would have a better life someday and that I’d have to rely solely on myself to achieve. By necessity, I grew up too quickly and ran with a fast and dangerous crowd. I was reckless and had many hair-raising adventures which hardened my resolve and fueled my inner turmoil and passion. There were times when my intention was strong, but I was constantly in conflict with my emotions and my compulsion to live life on the edge. My high school years were a constant battle of self-preservation and striving to understand my place in the world.

LIVING HAPPY IN TRUTH

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all start our lives in a safe and welcoming place for us to live in our truth? A place where we instinctively know the value of treating ourselves better to create lives that feel more authentic, balanced, and allow us to live in harmony with others? A place where we value our bodies and health, expand our minds, and honor the purpose of our lives by focusing on the greater good. A world where we can focus on being our best and using our resources to make things around us better and happier? This is my dream as The Happiness Warrior and the source of my purpose and intention!

Mindset is everything and when we set ours to truth and authenticity, we can begin the beautiful process of finding renewed love and care for our inner being. These are choices that all of us can make that will help us heal, be our best selves, and raise our vibration. With this we can reset our lives and find our truth and inspiration. Reinvention of our soul and spirit is a powerful tool for inspiring greatness and greater happiness. Authenticity is the creative force that guides and protects us on this journey. Everything we need comes from within!

In our current environment when so many of us struggle to survive, the idea of being happier and understanding what it means to be good to ourselves can seem unattainable and a faraway dream. I believe that happiness is indeed a mindset, but the parameters vary for each of us, and it can feel so out of reach unless we look deeply into our subconsciousness and see ourselves in our own unique perfection.

I’ve always felt that there’s something in our human DNA that can lead us to self-destruction. Whether it’s opposing forces in the universe, negative thinking, or just plain bad luck there’s a dark side to all of us that can be too easily drawn from and one that can ruin our lives. Why do we feel compelled to do destructive things and harm our lives? Why allow this sinister power to overwhelm us when we could spend our lives feeling good?

Life has a way of helping us find balance when we’re ready for it. It can take a short time for some or decades of trial and error, heartaches, and hurts but eventually everything comes full circle. We live and learn as we play the game of life. We can only win when we are at peace with ourselves and see our challenges for the gifts and wisdom that they provide.

THE HAPPINESS WARRIOR LIFE PRINCIPLES

I’ve come a long way from the loneliness and disconnection of my early years. Yes, I’ve been banged up a bit on the way, but I found happiness and balance once I realized the value that comes from within my spirit. This is the foundation for my moral compass that guides my thoughts and actions. Life gives us choices and I choose to overcome the obstacles of my upbringing and use them as lessons that formed my personal code of morals and integrity. It’s the challenges in life that make us better.

Life can be a magical journey when we believe in ourselves and understand that happiness comes from within. We can all lead good lives that rise from our authenticity and principles.  Develop your own core values and live by simple truths to guide your way:
 
1.       Experiences have more value than things. Material possessions are worthless in the end.
 
2.       Be more tolerant of others and know when to check your ego.
 
3.       Learning never stops until we stop.
 
4.       Learn to think of life as a great game and make challenges and obstacles a source of strength, creativity, and inspiration.
 
5.       Know that real happiness comes from serving the greater good and helping others.
 
6.       Establish a short set of well-defined core values and create more purpose and direction. Be intentional.
 
7.       Learn to value your emotions and intuitive thoughts.
 
8.       Accept personal responsibility and seek self-awareness.
 
9.       Make the Mind/Body connection and live in this one truth.
 
SERVING OTHERS RAISES THE GOOD IN OURSELVES

Whether we choose to ignore it or not there is one simple truth that humans have known forever. We are happier in the service of others and helping them tackle life’s problems. We are never as happy as when our minds are set for helping others and aligned with our purpose and life mission. Everything we do as humans are defined in our actions and our cause. Our spirit and vibration rise when we can live in our purpose and truth. Consciously take action that benefits others as well as yourself and feel the universe guide you. Know that all will be well when we are doing the right thing.

CREATING REALITY

Too often in life, we’re focused on all the bad things that might happen, have not happened, and probably will never happen. We forget about the present which is our actual reality and waste so much time feeling unhappy thinking about the past and future. Our life is where we are right now and the path that we’ve chosen. When we are good to ourselves and loving and accepting of our true selves, we can fully allow take action to create the life we’ve dreamed about and focus on the good life that we will create for ourselves and those around us.

Believe in yourself and the goodness of your life without apology or compromise. We are our own best product and how we project our good will and intention is how we learn to change our lives for the better. We can create the reality that we desire when we are living in our truth and taking action to make our dreams come true. Know that you are on the path and that the only thing stopping any of us is ourselves. Good choices always appear when we are secure in our minds and intent on our mission.

As The Happiness Warrior I believe that happiness is a basic human right and one that I’m willing to go the distance for. Creating more happiness in our own life is a life skill to value on its own but nothing compares to the joy of helping others find more happiness, purpose, and value for their lives. Build your own foundation and go forward with conviction and self-belief. Anything is possible when we are aligned with the strength of our intention.

A good life is one where we are happy with who we are and see ourselves with clarity and compassion. Listen to the messages of the universe and know that happiness comes from within. A life without the need for external validation is one that we can all manifest when we believe in the goodness in our own spirit and intention. Ignore the negative voices and find your life filled with positivity and respect from others. Be the example and be a warrior for the sake of others. Think for yourself and make the world a better place!

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