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  • Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”


I believe that every human being matters, and every one of our hopes, dreams, and ambitions are important and have meaning. How we perceive this as a reality is often how we see ourselves and how we determine our personal value and self-esteem.

There comes a point in our lives when we realize that we can only be happy when we break from judgment, collective restrictions, and irrelevant societal norms. Life can be magical when we can be proud of who we are without apology or shame and know our true value and worth.

Understanding our personal value has nothing to do with how much money we have or how many likes we get on social media. It’s the innate sense of ourselves and our inner strengths and weaknesses. Our worth is the summation of our core values that make us whole and authentic. This is determined by how we focus on the things that matter in life and the inner spirit that drives us.

Self-awareness and introspection are the tools that we can help us find more value in ourselves and show up for our lives with intention and gratitude.

Self-worth isn’t about validation from others but about the happiness that comes when we know our purpose and aren’t afraid to shine. Happiness comes from within, and our value is never clearer than when we are at peace with ourselves.

As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that happiness is a basic human right. How we feel about ourselves is how we create our value and find our place in the world. All of us struggle at some point in our lives to find out who we really are and too often we find ourselves giving up and losing the best parts that make us whole. I believe that everyone deserves to be seen, heard, and respected as individual humans. When we realize this, our energy vibrates and flows with the guiding power of the universe and provides us with inspiration and hope. Know that everyone matters and every single one of us influences each other. We are all connected!

We can only be our best and live our happiest lives when we let go of societal pressures, shame, and hateful judgments and learn to love ourselves. Life can be magical a serendipitous journey when we learn to know our value and see the world without fear.

Like it or not there’s a geometry of tenuous attachments and hard truths that we carry throughout our lives. How we understand these truths and how we share our vulnerability is how we learn to value our authentic selves and learn to love who we really are.

There was a time in my life when I felt my life had lost its value. I was in the last year of a long-term abusive relationship and felt beat up, depressed, and perpetually anxious. When I looked in the mirror the person who I was when the relationship started was unrecognizable. I rarely smiled, lost my sense of humor, and was often depressed, anxious, and angry. Most of my real friends had disappeared and I was estranged from my family. Increasingly, I turned to drugs and alcohol to mask my pain and try to live through another day. My career was in ruins and my future was unknown and frightening. My energy was dark, and I felt that I had no purpose or plan. There were many nights when I’d toss and turn and pray that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I couldn’t see past my pain and life looked grim and hopeless.

My partner was the worst kind of abusive and violent alcoholic and I remember the feeling of desperation and fear that took over my consciousness when he’d start drinking. Would he grow violent and menacing? Would he disappear and party for a day or two with strangers who he’d invite back to our home? It was a nightmare of my own creation and one that I couldn’t live with any longer.

I’m still unclear if it was a message from a higher power or a signal from the energy of the universe, but one day it all blew up and I was able to find the clarity to escape. I had nothing, no money, no job and very few possessions, but I knew that I was worth something and was ready to find who I was once again. I was ready to be happy and find my worth that had been so devalued by someone else.  It was time to live and regain my powers and finally figure out who I was.

CREATE CORE VALUES AND PRACTICE GRATITUDE

To find our value we need to start with the foundation that our self grows from. When we rise from a place of stability and strength, we will find that our value is always growing. Personal core values are something that we develop when we care about our lives and help provide us a compass for living.

Establishing core values is a way of making sense of our lives and decisions to provide us with better choices and aligns our journey with our innate truths. Trust yourself that your values will give you purpose and keep you on the path to greater happiness and fulfillment. Feel the burst of energy and inspiration that comes when you take the time to care about yourself!

THE VALUE MINDSET

Mindset is everything and how we put it in to action is how we develop and grow as humans. Each day’s lessons bring us more wisdom and clarity and our core values give our actions strength and purpose. The more value we create by our actions the more value we create for ourselves. These are decisions that are there for all of us to make. Life is always more poignant and happier when our actions are aligned with our core values and inner spirit. Every night I tell myself that I did my best today and that I can and will do better tomorrow!

Opportunities and happiness grow when know our value and are unafraid to ask what want out of life. Often the only thing holding us back is giving ourselves permission to be happy. It sounds easy, but why do so many of us purposefully do things that we know will not make us happy? Choosing to be happy is a logical choice, but we must rid ourselves of the idea that we don’t deserve to be happy and know that we are valuable.

BE INTENTIONAL

Knowing our self-worth allows us to disassociate the outcome of what we do with who we are. It implies we are in touch with our inner soul, and more than going through life, we are intentional, doing only the things that serve our purpose and the greater good.

Too many of us have been told that our lives don’t matter, and we should “just be like everyone else”. There’s a reason people are marching in the streets and demand to be seen. Why conform to the beliefs and expectations of others when are perfectly good as we are?

REMOVE FEAR AND LIVE

Failure is just a steppingstone to greatness and fear is the killer of our dreams. Fear is something we know we can’t run from. Fear is a signal or sign that tells us where to go. It shows us the way through life’s path and leads us to the other side. Fear keeps us from opportunity while we’re waiting for perfection that never comes. Fear is insecurity masked with rationality and false courage.

Why waste time and energy running from fear when it’s there for us to grow and learn from? Fear keeps us hiding when we could be out exploring and leaping into life.

EMPATHY IS YOUR SUPERPOWER

How we see others and learn to accept them is how we learn and to respect and love ourselves better. Empathy means rejecting the societies tendency to shame and judge. We can evolve and be better than our base emotions and rise above societal scorn. Remove the emotionally crippling need for validation from others and stay true to your authentic being. Life has a way of providing balance and more happiness when we are at peace with our truths and core values and respect others for who they are.

Embrace your vulnerability and listen to the messages around you. Find your world opening and new choices and paths awaiting your sense of wonder and adventure. Be bold, live for yourself, choose your words wisely, and remove negative self-deprecating thoughts and emotions. Raise your empathy and watch your dreams come true!

CHANGE THE WAY YOU TALK TO YOURSELF

Words have spirit and words never disappear. Remember that the words we say shape our reality buit all too often, we feel that the narrative has been written for us. We’re told who and what to like and hate. Billions of dollars are spent to sway us from one agenda to another. Free yourself from the needs of your ego and validation from others and listen to the all-knowing source of your inner voice. Stop telling yourself lies and learn to know when you’re being lied to. Be honest, be brave, and break the cycle of dependency that causes us to conform and lowers our self-esteem.

CHOICES

We have choices, we can choose to be happy and accept joy into our lives or we can look at the world with dread and disappointment. How we perceive is how we create the path ahead. Starting anew is never possible until we can remove the guilt and shame of our pasts. Shame is perhaps the biggest and most tragic method of gaining control and often the most dangerous to everyone.

Every single action or step we take towards creating a better life is quantifiable and cumulative. Know that everything we do with positive intention is helping us find the direction in our lives that we deserve and desire. Be proud of both success and failures, each has lessons that will lead to more happiness and fulfillment. Look at life as a challenging game full of pitfalls and victories. We’re never finished until the end. Make each moment count and strive to provide value in your actions and find yourself feeling happier with who you are.

FINDING MEANING

When we our purpose is aligned with the happiness and needs of others, we will find ourselves living in a new paradigm where life is never against us. Instead, our vibration rises, and we become more aware of the universe that is there to teach and guide us. We learn, grow, and feel the comfort and peace that comes from serving the greater good and looking out for those that are unable to help themselves.

I once traveled to the desert and sat on a mesa to contemplate the meaning of life. There was a silence in the sun and the mountains looming above me. The sun was bright, and the sky was the deepest of blues. Suddenly, I heard a voice in my head that said, “all knowledge is here”. The message was clear, life’s meaning is often stored inside us, sometimes we can almost feel and touch it, but our self-created boundaries, fears, and lack of self-esteem keep it just out of reach. That day I learned to be free and learned that I had everything I need to be happy and fulfilled within my spirit and soul.

Every day is a day to start over and find more meaning in our lives. Life is too short for empty promises and hiding behind self-created barriers. Free yourself of your fear of vulnerability and be loud, be strong, and be yourself. Love yourself and use your power to conquer fear of the unknown. Know that your value is precious and that your spirit is something that no one else can take from you. Show up for your life and watch your dreams come true!


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