“An optimist is the human personification of spring.” — Susan J. Bissonette

Almost twenty years ago, a few days before Easter of 2002, I was in the end stages of an almost ten-year abusive relationship. Life had lost its magic--I was mostly depressed, lonely, and very disconnected. I had lost my job, lost touch with my family, and had been living in a succession of cheap hotel rooms with my abusive partner. Living with an alcoholic or addict would be hard enough, but a physical and mental abuse adds an even deeper soul-destroying hell.

My partner was a mean drunk, and that day, he started drinking early and he seemed even meaner than usual. Without warning, he began screaming and ranting in anger at me. I was used to his raging and had trained my brain to go into a shut-down state, but this morning was different, and I sensed danger. We both knew that our relationship was finished, but he hated the idea of giving up control. He was enraged with the thought of me leaving him and I still remember the evil looks he gave me as he downed the rest of his bottle of vodka. Suddenly, he broke the bottle against the wall and charged at me while screaming “no one else can ever have you” and “I’m going to kill you”. I knew he was deadly serious, so I found myself locked in the bathroom with him kicking the door and still yelling at the top of his lungs. Eventually, his rantings and kicking subsided and I peered out the door to find him passed out with a demented look on his face. For the first time in months, I felt my inner strength return and knew that I would do anything from that moment on to change my life. I left right then with nowhere to go, an unpaid hotel bill, and barely enough money to survive for another day. As desperate as things were, I knew that I was going to turn my life around and that I wanted to live!

Being in an abusive relationship can be a cause for much shame. I was horrified that anyone would know what I had let myself live through and had covered it up for years. Abusive relationships can cause us to be estranged from the people that we love, and at first, I didn’t know where to turn. Luckily, I thought of my Mother, and she answered phone on the first ring. Happily, for both of us, she was relieved to hear my voice and asked me to come home for Easter that weekend. I remember Sunday as being a beautiful sun-filled day with my family, good food, lots of gratitude, and reconnecting with my former life. I had given myself another chance and wanted to prove to myself and my family that I could do it and make them proud of me once again.

So, I began the long and challenging process of learning who I really was and reinventing my purpose and destiny. It was my chance to start over again and I was determined to do it with my full heart and intention. Resurrection is one of the meanings of Easter and Spring, and I told myself that now was the time to forgive myself, rebuild my life, and find the courage to be a better version of myself than ever before!

No matter what our personal beliefs, Easter is the time of year when the earth reawakens, the sun reappears to lift our spirits, and our hopes become brighter. Spring means renewal, resilience, reflection, and resurrection. Easter is when the light comes back into our lives and provides us with the energy to renew our purpose, inspire our gratitude, and move forward in our reinvention. Spring is the time to reflect, forgive ourselves for our past, and feel grateful for life’s journey.

Reinventing ourselves can start with a big leap of faith as in my case, or it can be done small steps as needed. Part of the joy of being human is the realization that we can reinvent ourselves at any stage or age in life. Reinvention is the reawakening of our soul and sprit.

STEPS FOR REINVENTION

Step 1—Give yourself permission to be happy. This often the hardest but also the most enlightening. We deserve to happy and we’re most happy when we help others find happiness.

Step 2—Gain a clear understanding of who we want to become. Self-awareness can be challenging and difficult, but honestly evaluating and clarifying what has kept us from reaching this point in the past is the first step in moving forward. Visualize who you want to be and keep that picture in your consciousness.

Step 3—Make the mind body connection and begin taking better care of yourself. My Happiness Warrior Core Value #1 “Treat your body as if your life depends on it” applies here. Learning to understand the connection between our mind and the health of our bodies is the key component to reinvention and renewal.

Step 4—Learn the power of affirmations. I remember feeling so much for joy for being alive when I began to rebuild my life and I start every day with a personal affirmation “Today’s going to be a great day”. Affirmations are a powerful way to build self-esteem and create action and momentum in life.

Step 5—Find a way to be at peace with your thoughts. Writing, meditating, or learning simple breathing exercises are the best way to learn about who we are and feel at peace with ourselves.

Step 6—Remove objects and situations that keep us from moving forward. Too much clutter is bad for personal growth and mental health. Learn to say not to situations that make us uncomfortable or create guilt and feelings of unworthiness.

Step 7—Remove toxic friendships and emotional baggage. Take a good look at relationships, friendships, and work environment. Are they good for us or they hurting us and hurting our development and affecting our happiness?

Step 8—Surround yourself with happy and productive people. We are the product of our friendships and friends should want us to rise-up and feel happiness. Look for those that align with your values and morals.

Step 9—Look for mentors and role models. These people can come and go in our lives, but they help us feel our purpose and keep us inspired.

As the Happiness Warrior, I believe that we all the power to reinvent ourselves. If the last year has taught us anything, we need to embrace and change and renewal. Sometimes we need to learn it the hard way as I did, but all humans deserve the choice to renew and reinvent themselves.