USE YOUR PAIN TO BE HAPPIER
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
Have you ever had a big accident or tragedy just when you feel like your life was getting started? All too often, we see examples in our own lives and others. Is it Fate, some sort of cosmic plan, or are we sabotaging our happiness and personal growth with self-defeating beliefs, emotions, and self-created painful events?
Most of us have suffered through something physically painful in our lives. We’re human and we have accidents and crises. These can feel like unjust events that can cause us suffering, break our bones, and give us painful wounds to heal. Pain is relative to all of us as individuals and we can feel pain with varying degrees of intensity. Pain is usually temporary, and it’s often masked with medication or avoidance. Although pain can make us momentarily unhappy and uncomfortable, if we learn to understand its importance, we can use it to change our lives. When we develop a mindset for forgiveness and self-awareness, pain can also be a powerful teacher that propels us forward and even makes us happier. We can choose to feel like victims, or we can learn to forgive ourselves and use our pain to teach and guide us on our life’s journey.
I had a big crash recently with my new birthday bike. It was a very exciting surprise gift from my husband, and I felt grateful and loved. I took it out in the woods for a fast ride and was thinking about how great life is and suddenly hit a big bump. In that instant I realized that my mind had been wandering rather than focused on the ride. Time sort of stopped and I lost contact with my bike and began to take flight. Instinct kicked in and for a split second I thought about how best to land that would do the least damage (and not hit my face)! All too soon I slammed into the ground with a heavy thud on my elbows and right shoulder. I stood up and all I could see was oozing blood from several big open wounds. I was all alone deep in the woods and at least two miles from home. My left palm was skinned to the flesh and my right shoulder was banged very hard and badly hurt when I put weight on it.
Adrenaline is a powerful hormone and I used it to painfully power my way home. Life has taught me to never give up on myself or be a victim and I immediately set my intention on healing and recovery. Once home, a bit of shock set in, and I dealt with the agony of cleaning and bandaging my wounds. I vowed to heal as fast as I could and most importantly, forgive myself for the accident. Forgiveness is essential for any recovery, and I knew from experience that beating myself up was the wrong way to go. Healing starts with a peaceful mind and clear conscience. Yes, I made a mistake but it’s something I would learn from and alter my mindset to avoid in the future.
It’s important to note that the day of the accident I was feeling very good emotionally and physically. I always work hard on my mind-body connection around my birthday and felt like I had been true to my goals. I’m also in a very big personal growth period of my life and was excited about good news that morning that would impact my future dreams. My head wasn’t focused on my physical activity and the fast-paced ride mirrored my excitement for the new life and career path that I’m creating for myself.
Accidents can be sobering, and in my recovery, I thought about why it had happened and how I could prevent it from happening again. All too often in my past I had let a self-created problem destroy my momentum and let opportunities fade away. I needed to dig deep and think. Had I self-sabotaged myself once again or was it truly a random accident? Self-awareness can be difficult to face, but I knew that this was a turning point and a message to remain in the present with clarity in all actions. Mindset is everything and I had allowed an old self-defeating pattern to emerge once again. I needed to think and learn from the pain that comes with healing. Pain could also be my teacher. I knew without a doubt that this lesson was there to help me in my journey. A brief step backwards but a leap forward in intuition and intention!
Every adversity in our life is also an opportunity to learn to be happier. To learn to forgive and believe in ourselves with confidence is the way to greater happiness.
PAIN HELPS US GROW
I believe that pain and accidents can be an indicator of something going on in our subconsciousness that we need to consider and make choices about. It could be a lifestyle, diet, or mental health issue, but if we can use pain to take the steps to address the issue we grow and move forward.
Avoiding or masking the pain keeps us from healing and feeling the simple joy that can be found in recovery and clarity. When viewed this way pain can be an opportunity to develop greater self-awareness and a renewed sense of purpose.
Even if it were possible to live life without some pain or discomfort, it wouldn’t be desirable. We can use our pain to take a closer look at our circumstances with an open mind. Every experience in life is an opportunity to understand our inner self better, create more self-confidence, and be happier. How we process pain can be the way to a happier life with more forgiveness and empathy for ourselves and others!
FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR GETTING HURT
The first thing I did as I started to ride home from my bike accident was to forgive myself. I knew that for a moment I had allowed my dreaming about the future to alter my consciousness and I was not in the “present”. I let my mind wander and was unprepared for the bump in the path. It was a careless mistake and could have been much worse. I understand now that we can’t begin the process of healing until we come to terms with our mistakes. Forgiveness can mend most of the harmful events in our lives and plays a key role in healing from within and creating a happier life.
TURN PAIN INTO TRIUMPH
1. Forgive yourself immediately and focus on healing.
2. Be mindful of the mind/body connection. How we think and feel about ourselves can manifest itself physically.
3. Recovery starts as soon as we are hurt, every minute counts in our renewal. Visualize yourself fully healed and feeling better than ever.
4. Use these tools to aid recovery: nutrient-rich diet, hydration, breathing exercises, meditation, healing medical therapies, maintaining a “recovery” mindset, rest, and self-awareness
5. Be aware of the enhanced clarity that comes from pain and healing and put it to use. Clarity can be overwhelming at first, but you’ll soon feel the benefits.
6. Pain can help us heal faster and make us stronger. Masking pain with drugs or avoidance prolongs healing and can make us feel stuck and dependent.
7. Reflection/Renewal –how has this period of pain and recovery changed me for the better? Why did I get hurt and how can I avoid it next time is a great question to ask yourself?
Obstacles and pain are part of life that we can’t always avoid. Although they might make us miserable, they are there to teach us. Many important life-lessons are learned through pain and struggle. Our strengths grow and we learn to move forward with a mastery of life skills. Obstacles are an essential step towards our final goal and can be met with courage rather than fear.
Challenge yourself to face your pain and challenges head-on. Listen to your pain and rise above it!
