5 WAYS TO BEAT THE BLUES--HAPPINESS WARRIOR STYLE
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
When I was growing up, I was happy living in a world of my own and never needed approval or the popularity that came from having a big pack of friends. I was happy with the few special people in my life, and never remember seeking or needing external sources to feel happy. I had superficial friends for activities and sports, but only had a few trusted people and family members who I felt happy with. As I grew into my teenage years, I sometimes felt out of place and began to understand what it felt to depressed, sometimes colorfully referred to as “having the blues”. Luckily, I had someone in my life who was always there to help me learn to pull myself together and find things that brought me joy.
My Aunt Nancy was a constant presence throughout my life, a great influence on my self-esteem and ability to understand the joy of happiness. From an early age, I connected with her life-affirming energy and always felt good about myself in her presence. She taught me the beauty of happiness and empathy, and the importance of striving to make others feel happy as well. What many people were never aware of was that she lived through many heartaches and disappointments and was also sad at times. She always managed to ascend from the darkness by finding strength in her unwavering empathy and kindness towards others. Her solution to beating the blues was found through kindness and spreading happiness. I learned from my Aunt Nancy the power of self-determination, allowing our light to shine for the good of everyone. I will forever be grateful to my Aunt for giving me my first powerful and life-affirming lesson for beating the blues!
Even the happiest people can feel depressed or feel sad and “blue”. Feeling sad is an important balancing force for feeling and understanding happiness.
In my late twenties, I became mired in a long mentally and physically abusive relationship. When I managed to break free, I felt broken, ashamed, depressed, and very unhappy. I had often felt unhappy in my broken relationship, but something was different now that I was on my own, I had a chance to turn my mindset around. I knew that I deserved to feel happy again. At the time, I wasn’t sure whether I was clinically depressed, so I sought help. I learned that my depression was situational and something that I could work my way out of. I knew intuitively, that I wasn’t truly depressed and set out to “beat the blues!”
Going through feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief when we go through difficult life experiences is what makes us human. Feeling deep emotions and feeling helpless and frustrated is part of the process of recovery and feeling better. We need to draw on our inner strengths and take action to help us from the spiral of despair and sadness. Part of being human is our resilience and ability to cope and move on with our lives after great tragedy, loss, or disappointment. While emotionally draining at the time, setbacks can make us stronger and happier in the long run. Sadness has a way of balancing happiness and has a way of ascending and resolving itself with greater happiness.
Happiness is not so much a choice, but a combination of factors that are unique to each of us. There are many factors that have an impact on our happiness and understanding how to find the right balance is a critical factor. The choice to be happy comes from how we’re able to assimilate all of these factors and make the decision to be happy or not.
I believe that there’s always someone out there who’s ready and more than willing to help. We can ask directly through the universe or a higher power (whatever works for you) to guide us and provide the wisdom and clarity we seek. When we can begin to understand and use our intention the next step always appears when needed.
AND NOW! - 5 WAYS TO BEAT THE BLUES!
NUMBER ONE: Think of Three Things That Make You Happy
One of the most impactful things that anyone ever said to me was to:
“Think of three things that make you happy right now”.
At first this sounded too good to be true and I was skeptical. But I was eager to try and felt an almost magical sense of emotion and happiness when I did so. I’ve had to call on this less and less over the years but it’s simplicity is life-changing in it’s simplicity.
NUMBER TWO -- Take Care of Your Body as if Your Life Depends On It.
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live”—Jim Rohn
When we go through low points in our lives and feel the blues one of the first things that most people do is stop taking care of their body and allow bad habits to creep in. This can manifest in overeating, not exercising, poor sleep, substance abuse, and too much screen time. Making the mind-body connection is often the most mindset change that can turn the blues around. When we feel good about ourselves, we’re happier and less likely to fall back into the blues:
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* Exercise and go for a brisk walk outdoors. Vigorous activity gives us mood lifting endorphins. Avoid treadmills and go outside and be part of the world!
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* Have hormone levels checked by a reputable anti-aging/hormone therapy clinic.
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* Spending 15-30 minutes per day in direct mid-day sun can lift the spirit and provide natural vitamin D
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* Take a break every day and tune out…meditate, do yoga or something else calm and relaxing and turn cell phone off. Even better, learn to create balance with stretching and flexibility. A flexible body is a flexible mind!
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* Hug a tree
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* Have more sex with a partner you feel connected to.
NUMBER THREE – Get a Dog or Pet
(Alternately if you can’t have a pet put some music on and dance to your favorite song!)
Studies have shown that developing a bond and caring for a pet makes us happier and gives us motivation to exercise and have responsibility. Dog walks are an incredible time to feel bonded with your companion and share their view of the world. Things look a lot different from a dog’s perspective and it feels amazing to create that special bond. I’m always a bit confused when I see people on their cell phones while walking their dogs and not paying attention.
NUMBER FOUR— Take Cold Showers
Cold showers are one of the easiest solutions to beating the blues and provide many mental and physical health benefits. There are few tricks to making them work best, such as learning to breathe properly and getting into a meditative state. Cold showers can help to:
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* Release endorphins and reduce depression.
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* Improve and speed up metabolism.
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* Improve circulation.
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* Enhance the immune system and even help prevent certain cancers and the common cold.
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* Improve post-exercise muscle recovery.
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* Improve sleep.
STEP FIVE – “Show Up”
The ultimate way to beat the blues is to learn how to “show-up” for yourself. How we feel about ourselves is reflected in our posture and actions. By learning to use good posture and feel our authentic selves we can truly be happy in every aspect of our lives. Learn to be mindful and understand the life changing power of simply showing up at your best for everything that we do. Being our best is something we can do for ourselves that creates self-esteem and feelings of admiration and respect from others. I often use the hashtag #showup to emphasize how important this is to self esteem and building happier more productive and happier lives.
No one wants to get the “blues” but there are pathways that we can find that we can use to change the course of our lives and find more happiness. The more we understand how to beat the blues the further our mindset takes us. All it needs is a strong belief in ourselves, mindfulness, and a good dose of self-awareness.