I LIKE EVERYONE
- Written by Eric North aka “The Happiness Warrior”
Several years ago, when I was in my late Forties, I had an exciting opportunity to begin a modeling career in NYC. I began to visit the city frequently for auditions, but had trouble connecting with the casting agents, but was mostly unsuccessful in my early efforts. One Friday morning, I was in Manhattan for a meeting to talk about a new strategy with my gruff but kindly agent. We talked about our plans, and just before I got up to leave, he stopped me to give me his advice. His voice became very animated and he loudly urged me try something new and “go out in the city this weekend and be the Approachable Alpha”. He knew that I was like many of his other male models who had also built their bodies into muscle to cover up their insecurities. I used my body to shield me from other people, often receiving attention that made me uncomfortable, i.e.: people staring at me, following me down the street, and commenting on how I looked. I would purposely avoid places and situations, not realizing that I was missing many new opportunities and new relationships. I might have looked strong and solid, but underneath I was wary of other people and my past had only taught me to be distrustful of others most of the time. I used to think that being a loner was noble and comforted myself with a quote from actress Greta Garbo, “I want to be alone”. She and I shared the same birthday and Swedish heritage and I thought it might be something genetic that I could use an excuse for my rectitude. Sometimes the attention was heartfelt and positive but most of the time I wanted to shrink away and hide with my standard uniform of dark sunglasses and baseball caps. Deep down I knew that life could be much happier, but I never knew how until I learned how powerful the simple act of letting my guard down and waking myself up to greater potential in my life.
That weekend when I listened to my agent’s advice and became the “Approachable Alpha”, I began changing my outlook with greater success, personal growth, and happiness soon following.
I took my agent’s advice to heart and kept telling myself that I was going to be approachable and began to relax. I took a deep breath and smiled and tried to have fun with everyone that I encountered. All that weekend, I found myself smiling more than I could ever remember and began to learn that most people are good and that laughing with strangers was better than ok, it could be exhilarating. This was one of the most memorable weekends of my life and I believe it was the beginning of my amazing and magical journey into becoming the Happiness Warrior.
HOW TO LEARN TO TRUST
My problems with trust started in my early childhood. As a very self-aware as a child from an early age, I began to realize that most of the adults in my life rarely told the truth. That translated to me as “I’m better off not trusting anyone” and so I developed a “go it alone” mindset. I had experienced so much disappointment in others up until then that it was hard to think of life with any other outlook. As I reached my late teens, I became obsessed with building my body as a defense or as “a wall”. I told myself that I was a loner and it made me feel protected. But in truth I was never as happy as I knew I could be. What I didn’t understand is how closely trust is related to happiness. When we trust we are vulnerable, but that vulnerability allows us to experience true love, success, and happiness.
To learn to trust others can begin with these steps:
1. Trust yourself first by doing things outside of your comfort zone
2. Learn not to judge others by their actions. be kind because “everyone’s fighting a battle we know nothing about”.
3. Learn not to assume the worst, give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
4. Look for the good in everything and everyone. Instead of focusing one bad action or situation focus on the good around you. It’s easier to find good than bad.
5. Accept your differences and learn to move forward without external sources getting in your way.
The best way to start being both happy and successful is to start trusting people more. According to research, people who tend to trust others at work score higher on a range of factors than those who feel they can’t trust anyone They are better leaders and have better relationships with their co-workers and staff members. They are also more likely to be promoted and earn more income. People who are smart and unhappy or successful and unhappy are limiting their range of growth and never move forward. Every person has a range of potential in terms of intelligence, athletic ability, musicality, creativity, and productivity. We are more likely to achieve the upper bounds of our brain’s potential when we’re feeling positive, rather than negative or neutral. Positive energy creates action and the change we need and dream about.
Someone who thinks the world is cheating him is right. He is missing the wonderful that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something—Eric Hoffer
There are always people we know instinctively that we shouldn’t trust, sometimes we give them a chance and our expectations prove us right and they do us harm. We can always use our powers of forgiveness and intuition to learn from a setback and establish healthy boundaries and move forward with our lives.
PEOPLE WHO TRUST ARE HAPPIER
When we learn to trust and see the world and people in the positive, we begin to achieve more happiness and balance in our lives. When we feel good, our brains release dopamine, a neurochemical which helps us experience enjoyment and happiness as well as activating the centers of the brain that help us learn and grow. When we live in a state of negativity, the opposite occurs and we revert to a “fight or flight” mindset, which keeps stuck in the past and prevents us from moving forward.
My present life is quite different--I always feel as if life is wonderful game and adventure. I rely strongly on my intuition and have created a life filled with trust and happiness that always keeps me moving forward. I’m forever grateful to my agent and his wise advice that helped me find so much more inspiration and purpose for my life. I know that I can’t blindly trust everyone but every day I align myself with my intention and say these three powerful and magical words “I LIKE EVERYONE”. It’s amazing how good and heartfelt if feels when it’s said aloud!
“Look for the good in everything. Look for the people who will set your soul free. It always seems impossible until it’s done. Look for the good in everyone—Jason Mraz
