All too often most of the pain and suffering we feel is self-created. It’s all too common and easily overlooked in our fast paced and ever-changing environment. Everything we see is a mirror into how we view ourselves. Limited by a lack of focus and perspective.

The self-created negative emotions that harm our spirit and needlessly define our life experience.

As humans we want to be liked and we want to be loved. Why do we spend so much time in our heads battling our right to be happy? So many words and thoughts that we use against ourselves much to our great harm. When are we going to figure out that our best lives lay ahead of us as soon as we learn to love ourselves?

We sometimes tell ourselves that we’re our worst enemies and seek more pain than pleasure. Negative loops of victimhood and false martyrdom. A mistaken belief that the harder and more unforgiving to ourselves the stronger we’ll become. A lack of self-awareness that keeps us from discovering our potential. A misguided attempt to conform and fit in. This is the state that those who benefit the most from our confusion to live our lives. A cycle of self-created guilt and misguided ideas of greatness. A willingness to please others at all times without a thought about our inner-most needs and desires. Sitting targets for unhappiness and troubles. Waiting for life to change and never taking action. A waste a time in life that’s too short for all.

I used to tell myself that I was my own biggest adversary before I even began my mission. It was s self-defeating attempt to find honor and Intention. It was only a moment of great clarity that changed my mindset through self-perspective and a newfound clarity. I had made so many things much harder in the past, it was a time to develop renewed core values to guide my opportunities and decisions.

As The Happiness Warrior, I’ve learned to quiet my mind, react with care, and forgive myself for my actions. It’s place that I’ve longed to reach in my life and a place where I find magic and inspiration. It’s a new me that’s also my real self. For the first time in my life, my authentic being is my guide in the journey of life. It’s a feeling where my past regrets and misdeeds provide wisdom and peace. It’s where we all want to join and renew our lives with greater happiness and inner peace.

1.       Self-awareness is the first place we need to start when we’re learning to be more forgiving to ourselves and work on self-improvement. It’s dark and forbidding place for so many of us, but it’s how we can begin to realize the scope of our self-defeating word and negative emotions. It’s our reflection in the mirror and the window to our true identification. When we learn to accept the truth in our emotions we can begin to clear our minds of shame and accumulated guilt. It’s how we understand our strengths and weaknesses. It’s a powerful tool for living a more authentic and intentional life. A focus on self-acceptance and self-improvement. A place where our thoughts become more positive, and lives become more fulfilling.

2.       Know when to ask for help and remove the illogical feeling of shame that comes from it. In a world where we’re increasingly alone and isolated asking for help can make us feel more connected. Knowing there are others out there who want to help us overcome life’s challenges helps us feel more empathy and compassion. Help can be life-changing for both the giver and the benefactor. We learn and grow together.

3.       Stomp out negative self-talk and stop being our “own worst enemy”. Criticizing ourselves has a negative impact on future success and greater happiness. It only makes things worse and has no beneficial purpose. We can combat this by challenging each negative thought and basing it on reality. Is it true, fair, or helpful to our present life. Does it matter to anyone else other than hurting ourselves? Challenging negative self-talk is critical to nurturing self-esteem and helps regain control of self-perception. It helps us learn to be positive and boosts self-confidence. Positive self-talk is the building block of a better life.

4.       Focus on strengths and achievements and use these to create momentum. Life is always changing, and new challenges are on every horizon. When we know our strengths we can use them in every endeavor. Never wasting time or energy on what we can’t change and always striving to do better. Self-doubt is an unnecessary spiral and waste of human potential. Nothing is more life-changing than allowing ourselves to believe in our potential.

5.       Remember that our imperfections and disabilities are what make us special and beautiful. When we see ourselves for who we truly are we live more authentic lives and connect with others on a deeper level. Imperfections and disabilities are an incredible opportunity for personal growth and increase in perception. The idea that anyone is perfect or better than anyone else is illogical beyond reason.

6.       In our rapidly changing world is common to feel that we’re being left out. Everything is fast, knowledge is at our fingertips, and technology is speeding up rapidly. We begin to think that our happiness depends on instant results. We’ve forgot the value of patience much to our regret and unhappiness. In order to get back in touch with ourselves we must realize that our self-worth is not based on our speed of progress but rather our commitment to ourselves. Mental resilience is the key to this process. Personal development is a life-changing process with time as a constant variable.

7.       Self-care is simply the act of being kind to ourselves and learning to love who we are. Without apology, excuses, or negative self-created emotions. It’s the belief that all humans deserve to be happy regardless of their station in life. It’s treating ourselves with empathy and kindness. Showing others, the same support and listening that we also want for ourselves. In today’s world of normalized lies and misinformation it the internal environment that we create the helps us flourish.

8.       Learn from mistakes and more readily forgive ourselves and others. Know that challenges and obstacles are there to help us grow and refine our lives. They might be messages on our need to realign our spirit and find more value in our present lives. This is how we gain wisdom and grace.

9.       Nurture mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Make the mind/body connection and realize that our bodies feel good when we take better care of ourselves. Everything we eat, how we sleep, socialize, love, and exercise our bodies is connected. Breathe deep every day and exhale slowly with gratitude and knowing. Our magnificent bodies are only ours to keep.

10.   Set boundaries and know when to exit. Go out in the world with an attitude of love and acceptance. Perception is different for everyone, and our needs must be made clear. Learn to be honest and open with others when our privacy and autonomy is under threat.

As The Happiness Warrior, I believe that each of us has the capacity to change for the better. It may seem like an impossible journey, but one small step leads to another.

Becoming stronger and gathering in power and intention. We have one life to live and one body to cherish.

We can all become better at life when we stop being so hard on ourselves!

Eric North

IG  @TheHappinessWarrior1
www.thehappinesswarrior1.com