Grief Expert and NY Times Bestselling Author David Kessler on Valentine's Day.
- Written by Thomas Estey
Single for Valentine’s Day?
David Kessler, loss and healing expert gives us hope for finding love! His experience with thousands of people on the edge of life has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life. He is the author of five bestselling books, including the You Can Heal Your Heart: Finding Peace After Breakup, Divorce or Death with Louise Hay. David’s work has been featured on CNN, NBC, Fox, PBS, and Dr Oz. David is a contributing writer for Oprah.com and eHarmony
7 ways to Heal Your Heart for Valentine’s Day
The truth is single women have a good chance of finding a date. There are 119 single men—never married, widowed or divorced for every 100 single women of the same age. True love is apparently not that hard to find. Over two million marriages take place in the United States every year. That means there are more than 6,000 a day!
For those single, it is a day of hope or Hopelessness. It’s a day when the absence of a special someone can be very loud. How do you stay optimistic when you are still single, especially if your heart has been wounded?
This Valentine’s Day can be one of healing wounds of past relationships and beginning anew.
Here are some ways to heal your heart this Valentine’s Day:
- You’re not half or broken. When you’re past a breakup and single again, you may feel you are not complete, you can’t find your own love without that person, and you can’t create your own happiness. To find love you must ask yourself, are you giving as much love as you wish to get, or are you only expecting other people to love and fix you?
- You didn’t fail. Your last relationship was a success. Don’t see the relationship as a failure. As you begin to see relationships differently, you’ll recognize that they have their own rhythmic flow. Some will last a lifetime, others a few decades, some a few years, and some only a few months.
- There is no wrong person. The wrong person was actually the perfect person for the lessons we needed to learn. People in intimate relationships usually have the same issues, but in reverse. A past relationship may have had problems with commitment, but while one is the avoider, the other may be the one who smothers. In other words, in any relationship, one person makes pancakes, and the other one eats them.
- Use the past as information to heal old wounds. They provide great information about you, your issues, and your wounds. Be willing to heal them. When looking at past relationships, you may discover abandonment issues or control issues that repeat themselves.
- Forgive them. You’ve probably heard it before. It’s true. Release that anger and resentment. After all, your anger and resentment doesn’t hurt your ex—it is only toxic to you. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.
- See the big picture, not just the pain of the past. Try pulling back to see the bigger picture and understand that all relationships are for healing. If you get no healing from the relationship, it will feel sad and pointless, and you’ll be devastated by emptiness. But if you can see that this person came into your life to bring you to the next level, you will understand that your relationships are always healing your soul and preparing you for your next love.
Ultimately, relationships with their mysterious and wonderful forces are our guides, teaching us all to love one another—as well as ourselves. They remind us that we are not broken or incomplete, and they can deliver us to healing. We let go of our agendas in loving relationships. Each relationship in our past gives us another chance to come closer to authentic healing and true love. This Valentine’s Day can be your invitation to becoming the person you want to meet. And when you do that, you are so much more likely to meet the perfect person.
http://davidkessler.org/
