‘THE PETTY NARCISSIST’ - JASON SHAND

All music and lyrics by Jason Shand

Produced by Jason Shand

All songs (c) 2021, JAHSTORK MUSIC, BMI

RELEASE DATE : 1/21/2022

Lyrics:

1. Seeing You (Eyes Wide Open)

How are you 

I guess I know just how you're doing being that 

I spoke to you an hour ago 

Anyway

I've started to feel a little low 

so I hope you don't mind 

I need to make things better

I need to vent 

my frustrations to a friend 

before I go mad 

from this isolation 

that I've placed myself in

I'm barely hanging on

I remember seeing you 

laying there

eyes wide open 

wondering 

if it would all get better 

I remember seeing you 

laying there 

eyes wide open 

hey… didn't it all get better

How are you

I know you know 

just how I'm doing

Being that

We barely spoke an hour ago

I'm in these shoes 

these are shoes 

you wore not long ago 

I've been overcome by 

a bitter emptiness

I need to vent 

my frustrations to a friend 

before I go mad 

from this isolation 

that I've placed myself in

I'm barely hanging on

It's so cold out here

lovers have come and gone 

now you're the only one 

left here 

to depend on

I need you

I remember seeing you 

laying there

eyes wide open 

wondering if it would all get better 

I remember seeing you 

laying there

eyes wide open 

Hey… didn't it all get better

I remember seeing you 

Wondering didn’t it all get better

I remember seeing you 

Wondering didn’t it all get better

2. ‘Say You Love Me (Please Stay)’

Always feel your presence 

Under my skin 

Even in your absence 

Only you can fill 

This void within

This void within my bleeding heart

It’s bleeding for you

I think that you want me 

but you won’t release yourself 

from this fear you hold onto 

you’ve got to let go

Say you love me

Say you want me

And please stay

Please stay

Try to keep my distance 

Cards close to 

burning chest

I’m biding my time 

I suffer through 

this soul’s unrest

This soul’s unrest 

May be my undoing

I am dying

to reveal myself 

I’m standing here with an open heart

this is crazy

But I know nothing ventured 

is nothing to gain

Say you love me

Say you want me

And please stay

Please stay

Now deep down 

I know that you want me 

Why don’t you release yourself 

from this fear you hold onto 

Just let it go

And say you love me

Say you want me

And please stay

Please stay

Say you love me

Say you want me

Say you want me

Say you love me

And please stay

Please stay

3. $$$ in the BANK (Let go)

You know how hard

That I've been trying

To keep you well

And keep you safe

 

You know by now

There's no denying

So why then look

The other way

 

Maybe it's time

To make a change... we...

Maneuver 

In and out of pain

 

You don't know

The way you feel

But I've got something 

That is real

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money 

 

You say there's

No end to beginning

We circle back

To start again

 

These habits

We've grown used to feeding 

You know we've got to

Stop this bleeding

 

Where there's a will

There is a way... we...

Before we try 

To make a change

 

Just let me show

You how I feel

Yes I've got something 

That is real

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

It's so hard

To let go

It's so hard

To grow apart

From the one I want

 

You want me to let go 

You want me to let go 

You want me to let go 

 

You want me to let go 

You want me to let go 

You want me to let go 

 

But I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

Bank bank

Bank bank

I've got the money

 

You want me to let go 

You want me to let go 

let go 

 

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money in the

Bank bank

I've got the money

I've got the money

 

4. The Petty Narcissist  (Arctic Ocean)

 

I see you in the distance 

Wondering if you'll come

Around there’s been a

Strong wind blowing

In uncertainty 

Towards us

 

There's a quick slick 

get away

From something 

That is feeling wrong

 

It's a long way down

 

I can see you

Stand in judgement of me

I can feel the Arctic Ocean 

In your soul

 

It's a long way down

 

Your camouflage flash color

Made me look the other way

Forgiveness is a long

Road travelled

From you and 

Your glory days

 

Now tell me was I ever good enough

Now I see thru all the haze

To the core of you

 

I can feel your waters

rising on me

Drowning in your Arctic Ocean

And it’s so cold

 

It’s a long way...

 

I’m trying to find my way

I’m trying to find my way

Oh I'm trying to find my way 

 

The Petty Narcissist 

Feeds himself 

Before his kids

I’m left to wonder 

Oh my God

 

The Petty Narcissist 

Can’t see himself

For what he is

I’m left to wonder

Oh my God

 

I see you in the distance 

I know you won’t come

Around I feel the chasm growing 

Between you and me

 

Our final game of

Pit pat patty whack

To see which

One of us is strong 

 

Enough to leave 

 

Still I see you stand

In judgment of me

I can feel the Arctic Ocean

In my bones

 

(Now tell me was I ever good enough, see you stand in judgement)

 

Still I see you stand in judgement of me

 

(Forgiveness is a long road travelled, feel the Arctic Ocean)

 

I can feel the Arctic Ocean, in my bones 

 

(And I can feel the chasm growing, feel your waters rising)

 

I can feel your waters rising on me

 

(Our final game of pit pat patty whack, feel the Arctic Ocean)

 

Now I feel the Arctic Ocean in my soul

 

It’s a long way down

It’s a long way down

It’s a long way...

 

5. To Be In Love With You

I want to be in love with you 

I want to be in love

I want to be in love with you

I want to be but I can't 

 

We get a little closer

But then you slip away

You leave me heavy hearted

With no words to say

 

I try to paint a picture 

Preserve you in my mind

Because I know one day

You will be hard to find

 

I want to be in love with you 

I want to be in love

I want to be in love with you

I want to be but I can't 

But I can’t 

 

I’ll sing this song for you

This way it’ll last forever

I’ll sing this song for you

Before we’re over

Before we’re over

 

There’s static in our picture 

All signals fail

I just want to see myself 

I just need to breathe

To exhale

 

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

 

I want to be in love with you 

I want to be in love in love in love 

I want to be in love with you

I want to be but I can't I can’t 

Maybe I can... let’s go!!

I want to be in love with you

I want to be but I can't 

 

6. What I Want

I want your love forever

Your love forever

It’s breaking my heart

Why do I want 

What I can’t have

You’re a desire island 

With sun shining

Blue skies up above

Your waves come 

Crashing on my love

Know that I

I just want to be with you

I’d climb any mountain 

Just to say

When your sun goes down 

When night becomes your day

I just want to be with you

Only want to be with you

I want to live forever 

To live forever

Deep inside your heart

It’s every chamber 

Lies my fate

I want to be forever 

To be forever

The only one you want

I pray that I am not too late

Know that I

I just want to stay with you

And I’ll keep on fighting everyday

When your sun goes down 

When night becomes your day

I just want to be with you

Only want to be with you

When your world bares down

When skies become your grey

I just wanna stay with you

Only want to be with you

You’ve got sunshine

And blue skies

You’re all right

You’ve got sunshine 

Why can’t I

Be by your side

Know that I, I just wanna be with you

And I’ll keep on fighting everyday 

When your sun goes down 

When night becomes your day

I just want to be with you

Only want to be with you

And when your world bares down

When skies become your grey

I just wanna stay with you

Only want to be with you

And when your sun goes down 

When night becomes your day

I just want to stay with you

Only want to be with you

I want your love forever

Your love forever

It’s breaking my heart

Why do I want 

What I can’t have...

7. Pool of Confusion

Is your heart

Like a stone

I've never felt

So alone

 

I'm reaching out

To the air

I feel the silence

Everywhere

 

Last night

I kissed you so hard

That I lost myself

In a pool of confusion

That I'm drowning in

 

I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would do anything for you

Just let me in

 

Lulled to sleep

In the comfort of your arms

Though my mind 

kept one eye open

 

I can't compete

With the call that tugs your heart

Always knew 

I'd come in second

 

Still I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would change my existence

To the world you're in

 

I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would do anything for you

Just let me in

 

I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would do anything for you

 

Just let me in

Let me in

Lemme in

Let me in

Let me in

Lemme in

Let me in

 

But your heart

Is like a stone

You want to be

Left alone

 

So when I reach out

To the air

I'll pretend

That you are near

 

And then I'll kiss you so hard

That I'll lose myself

In a pool of confusion

That you won't jump in

 

Oh I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would do anything for you

Just let me in

 

I would do anything for you

I would do anything

I would do anything for you

Just let me in

 

I would do anything

I would do anything

Anything for you

I would do anything

I would

 

Let me in... let me in... let me in...

8. Kynyon & Keesha

I prefer not to talk

But time's running away

This man of few words

Now has something to say

 

The love of my life

Stands beside me today

Oh Keesha 

I'm here with you to stay

 

We are treading new ground 

We are moving away

From the trials and tribulations 

Of a cold winter's day 

 

The love of my life

Stands beside me to stay 

Oh Keesha 

You took my heart away

 

I never saw this coming 

Your warmth and your tender kiss

From where we came from

Could you imagine this

Kynyon and Keesha

Together forever in bliss 

My love found you

 

This man of few words

Now has something to say

We are treading new ground 

We are moving away

 

From the trials and tribulations 

Of a cold winters day

Now it's a warm day in Brooklyn 

It's a warm day in Brooklyn

It’s a warm day in Brooklyn 

 

Whoah ohhh ohhh

Whoah ohhh ohhh

Whoah ohhh oooh

My love found you

Yes my love found you

 

Oh Keesha

Oh Keesha

My Keesha

Kynyon's with you to stay

9. Big Head

I took a stroll

Along the sidewalk of your soul

Only to find 

That it was sold

 

You think you have it all

A camouflage you call love

For all your riches

You are poor

 

I'm not the one afraid

To look you in the eye

And ask you questions

You don't wanna hear

You don't wanna see

You lie to yourself

And you lie to me

 

Your weakness rears 

It's ugly head again

You've taken on

Your biggest role

 

Who was the one

Who said they'd 

Be there in the end

Now who will

End up all alone

 

I'm not the one afraid

To look you in the eye

And ask you questions

You don't wanna hear

You don't wanna see

You lie to yourself

And you lie to me

Oh

 

Don't you know

That you can have it all

Have it all

Don't you know 

That you can have it all

Have it all

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

My friend

 

I know nothing of love

You've thrown this in my face

With a condescending scorn

 

Well that's just evidence

It's no longer my place

I am tired... I am worn

I am worn 

 

Don't you know

That you can have it all

Have it all

Don't you know 

That you can have it all

Have it all

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

My friend.. my friend

 

Don't you know

That you can have it all

You can have it all

Don't you know 

That you can have it all

You can have it all

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

Just open your eyes

My friend... my friend

My friend...

 

I took a walk

Beside the sidewalk of your soul

Chill in the air

I felt so cold

 

Now I’m the one

Who will not look you in the eye

And ask you questions 

You don't wanna hear

You don't wanna see

You lie to yourself

And you've silenced me...

10. Peter & Shirley 

They’ve got all the love

In the world to give

They’ve got the sun

 

They’re okay

It’s okay

 

They’ve got all the joy

In the world to live on

They found the one

 

They’re okay 

It’s okay

 

And it feels like

Spring before the summer

Can you hear 

Listen to what

Peter and Shirley say 

 

Mmmmmm mmmmmm

 

Peter and Shirley 

On a beach

Surrounded by sun

They’re okay

It’s okay 

 

Peter and Shirley

Know a secret

The secret of love

They’re okay 

It’s okay

 

And it feels like

An afternoon sun shower

Can you hear

Listen to what

Peter and Shirley say

 

Mmmmmm mmmmmm

Listen...

Mmmmmm mmmmmm

 

They’ve got the love

And they’ve got the sun

They’re okay 

It’s okay

 

They’ve got the joy

They found each other

They’re okay 

It’s okay

 

And it feels like

Spring before the summer

Can you hear

Listen to what

Peter and Shirley say 

To what Peter and Shirley say 

Listen...

 

Mmmmmm mmmmmm

Listen...

Mmmmmm mmmmmm

 

Peter and Shirley

Know a secret

The secret of love

It’s okay

We’re okay...

11. ‘I Know’

This never was my plan
Never my intention
To love you like this

And make you walk away
With my hidden resignation
There's no excuse for this

Is it too late
To reach you
To hold you
'Cause that is what I need

And I
I am standing here
Before you
Yeah

And I
I'll be waiting
You'll see
Because I know
That we were meant to be

Yeah

 

This never was my plan 

Never my intention 

To hurt you like this

 

Is it too late

To touch you

To need you

'Cause that is what I feel

 

And I

I am standing here

Because I know

That we were meant to be

Yeah yeah

Whoa hey hey

Is it too late
To take you in my arms
Is it too late
To undo all this harm
That I've done
Some of us we falter
In the glare of our self doubts
Fears take over
And my tears take over
Now I am without you

This never was my plan
Never my intention
To Love... to love you
Yeah

And I 
I am standing here
Before you
Is it too late
To reach you
To hold you
Because I know
We were meant to be

Yeah

This never was my plan
Never my intention
To love you like this...

12. Crumble

Sometimes I try

To pull away from you

You've taken all I have to give

Still you hunger

 

Sometimes I try

To put away this love I feel

So heavy

Its weight on my heart

 

If you walk away

I will crumble

I will perish, I will falter, I will die

If you go

My world will shatter

 

My eyes are now wide open

And I can see 

that you and me

We're never meant to be

 

But when I close my eyes

I have only one vision

Its you and me, just us

Yeah... Yeah...

 

If you walk away

I will crumble

I will perish, I will falter, I will die

If you go

My world will shatter

God only knows 

the lengths I'd go

To find my way

 

If we can slow down

Breathe in, breathe out

Take stock

Slow down and reach in

 

If you walk away

I will crumble

I will perish, I will falter, I will die

If you go

My world will shatter

God only knows 

the lengths I'd go

To find my way

And the strength I have

To face each coming day

... will fade

 

13. Ellen

 

I'm unprepared to say goodbye 

I'm unprepared for you to close your eyes 

I know I'll feel it everyday 

The love you gave in

All your special ways

 

Ellen

You're so beautiful 

 

I'm so afraid to look inside

Come face to face

With what I cannot hide

I walk a tightrope everyday

Searching for all the words

I need to say

 

Ellen 

You're so beautiful 

Oh Ellen

You're so beautiful 

 

Every minute is an hour

Every hour is a day

And everyday is a lifetime 

That slowly fades away

Time is moving on

 

I'm unprepared to say goodbye

So unprepared I'm left to question why

You had to leave me in this way

Forever in my heart you'll always stay

You'll always stay

 

Ellen

You're so beautiful 

Oh Ellen

You're so beautiful 

Ellen 

You're so beautiful 

Oh Ellen 

Your soul is beautiful

 

I'm unprepared to say goodbye 

I'm unprepared for you to close your eyes 

I know I'll feel it every day 

The love you gave in

All your special ways

 

Ellen

You're so beautiful 

Oh Ellen

You are so beautiful 

 

14. Oh Fabio 

Oh Fabio

You know I love you

You’re the blood

That does sustain

My beating heart

Oh Fabio

The first time I saw you

Your smile 

Stripped away my fears

But when you took me in your arms

The world around us disappeared 

Never in all these many years

I could feel our embrace

Was so electric

Oh Fabio

I always miss you

You’re the lungs 

I need to breathe 

The oxygen

Oh Fabio

when you take me by the hand

All my worries disappear

Because my man he’s oh so near me

I could cry a thousand tears

Never in a million years

Did I ever see our future

Come calling

You see me

Like no one did before 

And I see you 

I see deep inside your soul

Oh Fabio

Let’s not throw this all away

This is a once in a lifetime

And I need you here to stay

I’ll give you all I have to give

With you I’ve got so much to live for

And I know we can be happy together

Forever

Oh Fabio

Oh Fabio

Move in with me

Move in with me yeah

Oh Fabio 

You know I love you

Oh Fabio

Let’s not throw this all away

Oh Fabio

Jason y Fábio yeah

Oh Fabio

You know I love you